Tired of living in a shit hole, rubbing Bengay on you roommate's (translation: grandma's) withered hams every night? Escape to the awesomeness of these virtual cribs.
Agent 47's Woodshed (<em>Hitman 2: Silent Assassin</em>)- This genuine old-world woodshed, located very conveniently behind a monastery (priest available 24 hours a day to hear your confessions), features a butcher-block workbench, unfinished pine floorboards, and hooks on the walls for you to hang your sniper rife, ax, and your trusty AMT hardballers.
Elf Tree House (<em>The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time</em>)- Never owned by any of the Keebler Elves! This elf hut features a finely handcrafted authentic tree stump, a fire in the wood stove, a sword inside a treasure chest, and plenty of hard-core elf porno mags stuffed under a cute little straw-stuffed mattress.
Small, But Charming Dorm Room! (<em>NCAA Football 07</em>)- The centerpiece of this small, but functional 70-square-foot room is the two-tiered bunk bed. Climb the ladder, and you'll find yourself in snooze heaven! The room also features all the modern conveniences you'd expect from a state-of-the-art dorm room, including a calendar, regularly updated fan mail, and a computer where you can check out the latest pictures of your girlfriend. Best of all, it's free as long as you can run a 4.4 40 and inhale a three-can beer bong.
Mansion (<em>Scarface: The World Is Yours</em>)- With 20-plus rooms for you to explore, including your very own "control room" lined with about 50 security cameras, this former drug kingpin's home base is the ultimate place to inhale coke, yell at Michelle Pfeiffer, or keep a white tiger. Sanitation? I told you to tell them you were in a sanitarium!
Capo Safe House (<em>The Godfather</em>)- This old-world safe house, located in lovely downtown New York City, has charm to spare! Though the mattress may be full of fleas and the pillow may be stained with Andy Garcia's hair oil, this spacious hotel room features a baseball bat, a bottle of 80-proof booze, and two floozies living directly across the hall and who are always willing to dance in their underwear while listening to some old-time-y music. Twenty-three skidoo!
Vercetti Estate (<em>Grand Theft Auto: Vice City</em>)- This luxurious, sprawling, 15-room mansion is located in the ultraexclusive Starfish Island neighborhood. Close to shopping, schools, and a 24-hour Pay 'N' Spray for those late nights when you just have to get the color of your Infernus changed. History buffs will enjoy learning that the mansion was actually owned by a coke baron named Ricardo Diaz back in the '80s, during Vice City's crime-filled era. And it was the sight of many blood-soaked shoot-outs that left corpses piled high in almost every room of this lovely home.
Single-Room Starter (<em>Bully</em>)- This exclusive 90-foot dorm room is located in a charming New England neighborhood. JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THE FALL FOLIAGE! Great neighborhood! The local kids love trick-or-treating and/or setting things on fire on Halloween. The room features a do-it-yourself chemistry set for making stink bombs, authentic garbage on the floor, a game machine down the hall, and the occasional old-world rat skittering beneath your feet.