Virtua Fighter 5

The subtitle for this game should be: "Finally, a reason to dig our PS3s out of the fucking mothballs." Unfortunately, if you played Virtua Fighter 4 way back in '03, once you've finished ogling the game's high-def graphics, you'll be packing the PS3 back into the mothballs again. Why? Because it's the same fucking game, people. Sure there are two new fighters—sexy monkey girl Eileen and Mexican 'rassler El Blaze—but the game play is still the same assortment of combos, juggles, and reversals that it was three-and-a-half years ago. And while the game play does hold up, the lame characters are starting to really wear on our fucking patience. If we have to listen to douche bag Brad Burns say, "It's the Brad show!" or "Might makes right!" one more time, we're going to find a kitten and bite its head off. You know, just to make a statement.