Wii Sports

Games that come packed in with systems are, historically, kind of lame. Remember Fart Wars for the Turbo Graphics? How about Revenge of Ass for the Atari 7200? No? The reason you don't remember them is because they sucked. (And because we made them up just now.) Anyway, you get the point. Wii Sports is here to change that trend by being the best goddamn pack-in game we've seen since Duck Hunt in 1988. The disc comes with a range of our favorite pastimes—baseball, golf, tennis, boxing, and bowling. You use the Wiimote to mimic the motions of the sports games. Example: In bowling, roll the controller like it's a just-waxed Brunswick. Strike! In Baseball, swing it like it's a just-pine tarred Louisville Slugger. In boxing…well, you get the idea. If you still think this sounds like a dud, you're an a-hole, and we can't be friends anymore. And I want my cooler back from the last time we went camping. And don't even start with this shit about you not having it! I fucking know you have it!