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<a href="" target="_blank">Playing Mantis Ping Pong Shooter</a>- This thing looks like an insane crossbow and, well, it kind of is: A rubber band sends a standard issue ping pong ball sailing through the air via sling shot action. The trigger, sadly, is just a top-mounted clothes pin. Like a donkey born near Chernobyl, it comes with three balls (and no legs, ears or working organs).

<a href="" target="_blank">The Boss Tommy Gun Rubberband Gun</a>- Next time an office mate shoots a rubberband at your head, you turn around with this thing—a wooden Tommy gun—and fire up to 12 blasts right at his goddamn smirk. Al Capone would be proud, if he wasn’t busy being dead of neurosyphilis.

<a href="" target="_blank">Fred & Friends Freeze Handgun-Shaped Ice-Cube Tray</a>- Freeze! Get it? The ice cubes are shaped like guns! It was a joke about what happens to water in ice cube trays, while also referencing the sort of thing people say when they’re pointing a gun at you! We know, we know, we’ll give you a minute to get your head round it. Ready? Good. To add authenticity to the mobster theme here, the tray itself is shaped like a briefcase--with handle. Presumably the follow up will be shaped like a ratted-out old mob boss spending his retirement years fending off gang rape in the prison shower.

<a href="" target="_blank">Playstation Move Sharp Shooter</a>- Easily the best gun attachment in all of video gamedom, the Sharpshooter turns that PSMove snocone into a full-blown assault weapon. Supporting games like Killzone 3, SOCOM4 and the awesome Goldeneye Reloaded, the Sharpshooter’s 1:1 accuracy will have you barrel-rolling and SEAL-crawling around your living room like the war was in your house. Better ask Santa for some padded walls while you’re at it.

<a href="" target="_blank">Jumpin' Banana Shocking Laser Guns</a>- When we put together our gift guide, we always try to find our readers the best of the best. So why are these laser tag guns the best? Because they actually zap you with an electric shock when you get shot. You know what was missing from Laser tag? Consequences! And minor cardiac issues.
$39.99 per gun

<a href="" target="_blank">8GB Gun Flash Drive</a>- Everyone needs to carry around their important documents, secret space plans and porn nowadays, and microfilms are a thing of the past. We can’t guarantee that this James Bond-inspired, gun-shaped eight gig flash drive will give you secret agent status, but we can guarantee it wins you a strip search from the TSA this holiday season. Nothing says “noel” like a good airport groping!

<a href="" target="_blank">Air Gun</a> - Giving new meaning to the phrase “blow them away,” The Airzooka doesn’t use batteries or ammo to annoy the piss out of family members or coworkers, just a little elbow grease and the air that surrounds us. Fun fact, this puppy will shoot air bullets of smell too! Shooting people with air, it’s the perfect crime for people too scared to go to jail.

<a href="" target="_blank">Super Soaker Hydro Cannon</a>- What would a list of giftable guns be if there wasn’t some Super Soaker love in it? The Hydro Cannon is probably the most absurd, most powerful, most awesome water gun you can buy, pumping out a ridiculous amount of H2O on unsuspecting carolers or making your life easier when Mom is screaming at you to water the tree. Sometimes a wet Christmas is better than a white one.

<a href="" target="_blank">Executive Elite Marshmallow Blaster</a>- For the disgruntled businessman, there’s no better way to tell your secretary you’re displeased with their performance than blasting them with sweet, puffy treats. Whether you’re letting out anger without fear of a lawsuit or getting some practice in for your Blue Man Group audition, there’s no blaster better than the Executive Elite. It comes with its own case, too, so your office’s security guard won’t blink twice when you come to work strapped.

<a href="" target="_blank">Nerf Vortex Nitro</a>- The biggest change we’ve seen out of Nerf since they started making guns instead of foam balls, the Vortex Series packs the new Nerf discs that fly farther and hurt just a wee bit more when you get blasted with them (ask our postman, who we accidentally blinded while testing). The Nitro has the biggest payload of all the Vortexes, with a monster 20-disc clip. That’s ten total blindings in one bout of suppressing fire!

<a href="" target="_blank">Batman's Grapnel Gun</a>- We tried to find a real-life, gas-powered grapple gun, but the negative nancies on our legal team put the kibosh on our testing. Instead, we found this treasure among the rest of the awesome replicas from the Nobel Collection, the only company that pumps out stunt man quality gizmos, gadgets and knick knacks from your favorite blockbuster films. If it’s good enough for Batman, it’s good enough for anyone.
Price: $195

2011 Holiday Gift Guide: Toy Guns

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