Summer is over. Turn in your cargo shorts for business shorts.
The end of summer means the end of loafing around on the job. For the past eight weeks you could get away with leaving early and showing up never, but now it’s time to get focused and actually, you know, work. Put away the beach towels and get out the desk. It’s Back to Work season.
Brookstone Saddle Messenger Bag ($50)
Brookstone knows that traveling can be a pain in the ass, but with some creative luggage, some of the stress can magically disappear. This handy saddle bag fits over rolling luggage to give you easy access to magazines, Maxim Magazine to be more specific, or something like a passport or an iPad. Faster than you can say, “I bet that’s also a messenger bag,” it turns into the perfect messenger bag. It’s easy, it’s handy, it’s a better alternative to that trash bag you claim is your carry-on.
Logitech Solar Powered Keyboard ($80)
Logitech makes great keyboards, and this is no exception. The difference here is the sun and the Earth. They created a solar powered keyboard made of recyclable products. Even the box that it comes in is Earth-friendly. Syncing it up and cycling through every Apple product you have--iPad, Macbook, iPhone--is a breeze and when fully charged this thing lasts for 3 freaking months. Relationships and trending topics can’t beat that time frame.
AOC 16" USB Monitor ($129)
Once you’ve used a dual monitor setup, it’s hard to go back to your crappy uni-monitor laptop. Luckily, you can hook up this second monitor via USB cable and you’ll be back in the land of two screens. Use one screen for work, and the second as a very expensive digital plate.
It’s a tiny tank for your desk that you control with your smartphone or tablet. It’s adorable and manly. That fact that you don’t already own one is the reason you fail at most things. Once again, it’s a tiny tank that you control with your smartphone. By now, you should have bought eight of them. Don’t screw this up.
Wavedrum Mini ($299)
For those looking to annoy the piss out of coworkers, try this portable drum machine from Korg. The same company known for their synthesizers and instruments have come up with a fun drum machine that you can turn into a living rhythm stick. With 100 ready to play sounds and 100 rhythm patterns, the drum machine is what every Tuesday morning needs. Plus, clip the sensor clip to a table, shoe or just about anything, and that object (or pet) is turned in a percussion instrument. Beating your head against your desk never sounded so good.
Sol Republic Headphones ($120)
While drowning out the noises of your coworkers, you also want to look amazing. For that reason, you need the Sol Republic Remix Headphones. Each piece of the headphone is made separately, meaning you can mix and match colors creating your unique look. We suggest going with crazy, wild color combinations so that if anyone steals them, you can easily track down the crook.
Pro XPN Internet Protection (Free! Upgrade to premium for under $10)
If you’re working on sensitive materials or just want to remain mysterious and invisible over public wifi, this free service can help keep prying eyes off your ISP. How does it work? Alien ghosts, probably. Who cares! The basic version is free and the premium does exactly what it’s supposed to. ! If you want to keep your stuff safe, why not give it a try.
NeatReceipts Mobile Scanner ($200)
Business cards and receipts are difficult to organize, especially when you have giant fingers like we do. NeatDesk came up with this handy way to control clutter while on the go. Just slide your documents through the lightweight and super-thin scanner and the NeatReceipts software will handle the rest, sucking up all the useful info and slapping it into an easy-to-use interface. Now you can finally get reimbursed for that box of candy canes you bought at the Cleveland airport.
Do you need it? No. Do you want it? Yep. Treat your desk like the playroom you wish it could be with this spinning bit of science. Remember to act mature about it. Making airplane noises is a rookie mistake. Making laser noises is just confusing. And making owl noises has us all concerned for you and your family.
Renew Sleep Clock and App ($200)
The clock watches you while you sleep. It’s not creepy. In fact, it’s sexy! Using science, the clock can detect your sleep patterns and the free app turns your iPhone or iPad into a daily journal of your sleepiness so you can fine tune your sleep habits. The clock will find the very best possible moment to slowly wake you up in the morning, playing you a variety of nature sounds. Or, set the clock to play songs from your iTunes library, because nothing says “Good Morning,” like Smash Mouth.
Swag of the Month ($17 a month)
Every month, be treated to the newest styles in T-shirts. It’s like having a girlfriend pick out your clothes, except you’ll actually like it. Just answer a few questions about your personality and style, and the experts do all the rest.
Laser Trip Wire ($40)
Now you’ll know when the intern is lurking behind you. It can also be used to set up a perimeter around the leftover lasagna you brought in for lunch, you greedy a-hole. (Just one bite? C’mon!)
Spend a little on yourself and feel like a true badass walking in to work while your peers are all wearing ratty sweatshirts and Looney Tunes jackets from the 1990s. The jacket says, “I am here,” even if your attitude says, “But not for long.”
This website and app helps you make reservations, so it feels like you have a real personal assistant! Plus, using the app saves you up to 40% at some restaurants. There are no tacky coupons or codes to use. Just go to Savored.com, get the app and start planning your business lunches.
TOMS Glasses ($139)
Buy a pair of glasses and feel good about yourself. For every pair sold, TOMS will give eye care to someone in need. It doesn’t hurt that the glasses are actually pretty cool. Just don’t be the jerk who says, “You’re welcome, world,” every time you put them on.
Luminox Steel Colormark Watch ($550)
The Swiss made, stainless steel watch will certainly help your dress for the job you want. As good as it looks, it can also survive your wild weekends. “But Maxim,” you whine. “I’m nervous about buying a watch online. What if I don’t like the look of it on my wrist?!” Stop yelling. Thanks to virtual reality technology, you can now see exactly what the watch will look like on your wrist. Click here for more details and to see it on your very own wrist.
Mimoco Mimobot Flash Drives ($20 for 8GB)
If you’re going to be handling a lot of files, and using the mythical Cloud to store your documents seems scary, use something that looks cool. Mimoco has been making these arty, collectible drives for years, and they never seem to run out of designs. We particularly like the Dark Knight Rises series...but only because it’d be weird if we said we liked the Fairybit model. (WE LOVE YOU, FAIRYBIT! ALWAYS!)