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Maxim Magazine

Gifts for Big Kids

Just because you’ve reached an age where you can legally vote, drink, and be in charge of a motor vehicle (not all at the same time, ideally) doesn’t mean you’re too old to play with toys. Here are some of the coolest we’ve seen this year.

Star Wars: The Black Series Boba Fett, $35.99

One of several figures in the latest range, which brings your toys up to the size of standard collectible action figures, rather than the traditional smaller Star Wars sculpts. Among the collection so far are Han Solo, Slave Leia, X-wing pilot Luke Skywalker, Sand Troopers, and more, but let’s be honest, the first one you’re gonna want to get is Boba Fett, if only so you can shove him into your dog’s mouth while pretending it’s the Sarlacc.

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Infinite Crisis Nightmare Vampire Batman Statue, $99.99

The long version: Batman gets turned into a vampire by Dracula and, after initially controlling his urges, drinks the Joker’s blood and goes cray-cray, becoming a killing machine. Short version: It’s Batman as a mean-ass vampire! What’s not to love?? This 10.25-inch statue is based on the character from free-to-play MOBA Infinite Crisis, and is guaranteed to keep all Twilight fans at a safe distance.

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The Simpsons Chuck Taylors, $37 - $65

Even after all these years, it’s hard to resist the allure of Simpsons merchandise. These are particularly yoink-able – Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers, decorated with either a mid-D’oh Homer, a blackboard-writing Bart (“I will not waste chalk!”), or the whole Simpson family (minus Grandpa, because he’s an old man, and he hates everything but Matlock. Ooh, it’s on now!). They’re available in men’s, women’s, and children’s sizes, and we’re still holding out hope that they’ll follow this up with some gopher loafers.

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Inside MAD, $29.99

With contributions from everybody from David Lynch to Ice-T, the fact that MAD magazine asked so many of the celebrities they spoofed over the years for their take on the classic funny book is reason enough to buy this. But the best part, naturally, is the huge collection of classic MAD articles in this hardback bathroom companion. Featuring classic pieces by Sergio Aragones, Tim Carvell, Dick DeBartolo, and “the usual gang of idiots,” you’d have to be a gap-toothed simpleton to consider not buying this for that oversized man-child in your life. 

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Angry Birds Star Wars Telepods Death Star Trench Run Set, $19.99

You might think that physical playsets based around Angry Birds Star Wars are stupid. And honestly? You’d be right. But it’s still hard to ignore the level of cutesy detail that goes into sets like this one, which pays homage to the classic, Death Star-exploding finale of A New Hope with a bird-shaped X-Wing and Rogue Squadron helmeted-pilot. And at least it forces the person playing to look up from their phone for more than five seconds.

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Travel Boy Carry On Luggage, $69.99

Allow the big kid in your life to show their love for old-school handheld gaming with this rolling tribute to the classic Game Boy. It’s lightweight, durable, and able to fit within the increasingly Draconian carry on limits for most airlines. On the downside, if you realize you packed all wrong, you can’t hit A, B, Start, and Select to reset and start again. On the plus side, there are no batteries to suddenly run out halfway through the trip.

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Dalek Invasion 2075AD Playset, $19.99

Act out your favorite Doctor Who moments with this playset that depicts what must by now be at least the 100th invasion of London by his arch-enemies, the daleks. It’s in scale with the 3.75 inch Doctor Who action figures, so you can get right to the running away and babbling about wibbly-wobbly things without delay. Word of warning, though - it doesn’t actually come with the dalek pictured. I’m so sorry.

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Snurk Astronaut Duvet, $99

If you’ve ever dreamed of going to bed with an astronaut, snuggling up next to them and…wait, no, come back! We meant, er, if you’ve ever dreamed of being an astronaut, that’s right. If so, check out the Snurk Astronaut Duvet. Sure, the only way to really get the full effect is to smother yourself with the pillow, but that’s a small price to pay for looking like a spaceman, right?

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LEGO Star Wars Ewok Village, $249.99

Considering how many fans whined back in the day that the Ewoks made Star Wars too childish (being still over 15 years from the horrors of The Phantom Menace, this seemed a legitimate complaint at the time), this is perfect for any big kids you know. A 1,190-piece set with 16 figures, net traps, an elevating throne, a speeder, and a ton of other geeky-cool stuff, it’ll keep fans occupied for hours. Especially when they jam bricks up their nose and you have to take them to the ER.

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Nerf N-Strike Elite Centurion Blaster, $49.99

Nothing screams “fair fight” like a fricking Nerf sniper rifle with a range of 100 feet, and six mega-darts with which to brain your unsuspecting friends before they’ve even realized you’re hiding in the bushes across the street. Sure, the Whistler darts make a screaming noise to warn them of incoming doom, but you can always modify them to stop that happening, right, you crazy psycho?

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Marvel Iron Man 3 Motorized Arc FX Gauntlet, $19.99

You know that friend who walked out of The Avengers yammering on and on about how much they wanted an Iron Man suit, and you smirked to yourself, because, clearly, if Iron Man suits were real, your friend is the last person on Earth who should ever have one? Pacify him a little bit with this gauntlet, which rapidly fires discs over 20 feet but doesn’t – as far as we’re aware – grant the user the power to level entire city blocks.

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