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Graduation Gift Guide

Your relative or neighbor just graduated. Soon you’ll be working for them. Kiss up now!

For Geeky Grads

Plantronics Backbeat Go ($100)


Say goodbye to tangled earbud wires! Did you say it? Go on. Say goodbye to them. We’ll wait. Did you do it? Good. With these new earbuds, there’s no messy wire to trip up a grad who’s jamming to the latest Frozen Pancake song. (We assume Frozen Pancake is a college indie band despite the fact that we just shoved those two words together. Prove us wrong, college people.) The light and comfy speakers connect to any bluetooth device, from phones to bluetooth hammers.

Lightsabers ($35)


If you don’t want a lightsaber, there is something wrong with you. Any one, from grads to grads can appreciate the might of an electric sword. These new ‘sabers from Hasbro are just what every graduation party needs...besides a water slide and guest appearance by Ludacris.

Sound Blaster Recon3D Omega Wireless($250)


It’s a tough job market and some gamers make bank going pro, so think of this as an investment for the recent grad in your life. Powered by the Creative Labs’ Sound Core3D quad-core sound and voice processor, these dope looking and sounding wireless headphones inject the gaming world directly to your brain. There are four different modes--Xbox 360, Playstation 3, PC, Mac--but we suggest keeping it set on Xbox 360 or PS3 at all times. Set up is easy--it comes with charging cables, easy to connect instructions and an optical cable for the best possible sound. We could go on about the THX TruStudio Pro stuff or Sound Blaster technology, but we won’t. Because they’re headphones and not Hardron Colliders.

iFrogz Near Field Audio Speaker ($39)


There are a bunch of portable speakers, but iFrogz came up with a way to amplify your iPhone/iPod without any wires or bluetooth requirements. Just put in some batteries, or plug it in with a micro-USB, put the device on top and you’ve got booming audio. It’s magic! Or it’s like holding a megaphone up to your iPhone. Either way, we’re still mystified.

Iomega’s Mac Companion Hard Drive ($349 to $449)


Students may have filled their Macs with blurry photos of horrible parties and pictures taken from the windows of airplanes. (Holy shit! Is that a cloud! Amazing!) They need someplace to dump these beloved and boring photos and the Iomega is perfect for Mac users. The  drive fits nicely on the base of an iMac or Apple monitor, and the Firewire interface is faster than a caffeinated puppy.

For Ugly Grads

FSC Barber (Haircut $40/Shave and a Haircut $75)


Time to whip this grad into presentable shape. A professional barber from FSC Barber is all it took to transform this hairy gent into a respectable member of society, so they’ll surely work on those besky post-college beards and pre-workplace hairstyles. (Locations in New York and San Francisco.)

Avengers T-Shirts (From $35)


Quick! There’s still time to let a recent grad on the Avengers bandwagon. These shirts are not only fun to look at, they more comfortable than wearing mink underpants. Until they make a What To Expect When You’re Expecting shirt, this is the best way to honor a summer movie.

Etnies Shoes ($65)


Buy a pair of shoes from  Etnies’ Jameson 2 Eco collection, and Etnies will plant a tree and you’ll be well on your way to erasing the damage done from the forest fire you started in 9th grade. Plus, Etnies look good on everyone. While some fashion items are hard to give as presents (such as cargo shorts or capes), you can’t go wrong with a pair of Etnies - unless you get the wrong size. Don’t know the size? Here’s a rule of thumb: The size isn’t 4 and is probably closer to 11 than 17.

For Grads You Don’t Really Know

Thor Bottle Opener ($18)


Losers open beer bottles with their teeth. Real loser use a Thor bottle opener. And by “real loser” we mean “us.” The solid metal hammer is exactly what Thor would use to crack open a bottle of mead. And nothing says, “Way to go, college graduate!” like an $18 gift. This is a win-win.

NBA iPhone/iPad Cases (iPhone Case $28/iPad case $39)

A new grad will need to protect his gadgets, and with a little secret ritual, you can turn these team-sponsored covers into good luck charms for the upcoming season. (To make them lucky, simply blow on the them for 3 minutes without stopping and then say, “This better work.”)

For Sophisticated Grads

Vice Merchants Bedding ($99 - $235)


How many naked women are on your sheets? Multiply that number by “many” with these risque, arty bed sheets that feature naked ladies in all manner of adventure. Our favorite is the underwater scene (titled Pearly Divers), featuring the lovely mermaids. If you know someone heading to college, or leaving college to enter the real world, buy them the gift that keeps on giving: Nake Lady Sheets!

Hugo Boss Cologne ($64 for 3.3 oz.)


When a guy is out of college, he needs to stop smelling like pizza and Febreeze. Set your grad off on the right track with Hugo Boss cologne. Chances are, the kid won’t know which cologne to buy, so you could give him a jar of sweat and lemon juice and tell him it’s good and he’d believe you. Or be nice and get him the good stuff.

Subway Token Cufflinks ($160)


The new grad is about to embark on many awful job interviews. Dress them right with these cufflinks made of recycled subway tokens. What’s a subway token, you ask? Ugh. Go ask your Siri to explain that to you. Kids.

 

Want more cool stuff? Check out Father's Day Gift Guide!

 

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