Valentine’s Day is almost here and judging by the slick sheen of anxiety sweat covering your forehead and shins, you haven’t bought your significant other a single thing. Never fear! (Well, fear sometimes, like when a snake lays eggs in your esophagus.) We’ve got your covered with gift ideas for both guys and girls that are guaranteed to make your celebration of St. Valentine a success.
If you’ve been together for six months…(Jump to: 1 Month | 1 Year | 5+ Years)
Key Bottle Opener
Equal parts practical and sentimental, show your half-year sweetheart that you’re under her spell by giving her the key to your heart…and your beer.
$21, The Spoon Sisters
This little guy gives the conventional fallback of gifting a teddy bear a much-needed twist. Let's face it: Your girl has probably already received a stuffed animal or two in her lifetime. So if you're going to do this, you might as well make sure you're going to make an impression, bitch.
Animal Butts Magnets
Animals are adorable. So are their butts. And anyone who doesn’t want to adorn their fridge with little wild behinds probably isn’t worth your time. Seriously, if she doesn’t like these, we urge you to take your own ass elsewhere.
Candy Heart Shaped Puzzle
Let's face it: Conversation hearts aren't very interesting nor are they particularly good to eat. Which is why they make the perfect puzzle (also in this category: mung beans, emoticons, carpenter ants). Plus, the heart made of little hearts has a "meta" quality that we find totally romantic. If you really want to lay on the cheese, tell her it's a symbol of how well you guys fit together...On second thought, don't.
$15.95, The Spoon Sisters
Two Peas in a Pod Salt & Pepper Shaker
If your lady fancies herself “adorkable” (which is the worst adjective of the year), then these salt and pepper shakers are the perfect addition to her quirky-cutesy kitchen. Plus, peas in a pod are much cheaper than an iPod.
Rebels and Riders Box Set
These five classic movies will do big things for any guy’s DVD collection. And while the tale of a man and his motorcycle is typically identified as a dude flick, when you’ve got greats like Steve McQueen and James Dean out on the open road, these features are perfect for a low-key date night. Or a high-key date night. Mid-key nights, need not apply.
$39.49, Restoration Hardware
Speaking of a rebel without a cause, we’ve found a new outlet to satisfy someone’s inner-vandal. Leave your mark, doodle, mini-mural, etc. on every page of this wall-plastered book. It’s oddly satisfying, and makes the whole Facebook wall thing feel so…you know…MySpacey.
$16.95, MoMA Store
Beer Tasting Tool Kit
Whether your dude thinks of himself as a regular Joe who likes a cold one after work or a first-class beer connoisseur, this kit will broaden his tastes either way. Plus, he can get a nice buzz going after bag number two. The kit includes four tasting notepads, 18 paper blind-tasting sleeves, and three fold beer cheat sheets. Happy chugging!...er, tasting!
If you've been dating for...