Sexiest Hunk of A/V Equipment
Take a look. Are you thinking what we’re thinking? Wear a condom, wouldja? Italian designer Giorgio Revoldini—known for turning deadly-dull objects into product porn—dreamed up the SIM2 Grand Cinema C3X projector. This hottie’s chassis is molded in Ferrari red (and comes in three other colors). Thanks to three DarkChip 4DLP chips, the thing blasts ultrablack blacks, a supersharp picture (1080p), and a filmlike contrast ratio of 10,000:1.


Sexiest Thing on Two Wheels
The smoke-spitting twin chrome exhaust cannons on this Star Raider S make us want to hurl our watches into the dust and head across the country in search of hot hippies and fisticuffs. New for ’08, the S model adds more chrome to the Raider for a more custom chopper feel. Between your legs: a 113-cubic inch air-cooled V-twin.
Sexiest New Kink Trend
Nothing turns us on like a current of electricity coursing through our genitals. Electronic stimulation machines aren’t vibrators; they’re more like jumper cables. The Super Deluxe Violet Wand Kit, for example, comes with all manner of attachments. “They’re great for stimulation,” says Stockroom.com CEO Joel Tucker, who hawks the $622 machine. “Or torture, as the case may be.”

Sex Drive
Italian supercars are like Italian fashion models: blazing hot, a little bitchy, and built for speed. The latest cat­walker: Alfa Romeo’s 8C Competizione, the first new Alfa bound for American shores in 14 years (set to arrive this fall). Under the hood: a 4.7-liter 32-valve V-8 that delivers 450 horse­power’s worth of bitchiness. Married to a six-speed paddle-shifter, you’re looking at roughly a four-second 0–60. Top end: about 185 mph. Only 85 of these beauties will come to America, and like all things Alfa, they’re going fast. You’re more likely to get your hands on Monica Bellucci.


Sexiest Phone Accessory
Behind the invention of every new technology is some smarty-pants with either a hard-on or an evil plan to rule the world. Or both! Take the Boditalk Escort vibrator. Place it within a three-foot radius of your girlfriend’s cellie, program in the number, and it’ll start buzzing when a call comes in.

Sexiest Coffee-Table Book
The book Do It Yourself poses a question: What happens when you give a bunch of young babes their own cameras, tell them to dream up their most far-fetched erotic fantasies, and then come back the next day? It’s a study in style and the female libido. The subjects shoot themselves—using mirrors or a remote shutter button. Think posers, masturbators, nude contortionists, and every one of them smoking. Photographer Uwe Ommer got the idea for the book when he caught a baby-sitter toying with his Polaroid. Don’t miss Ommer’s other hot coffee-table books, Black Ladies and Asian Ladies.taschen.com, $40



Sexiest Sound Machines
Ross Lovegrove, designer of the iconic iMac, co-created these insanely curvaceous (and priced) lust objects for British manu­facturer KEF, who’ll produce a limited edition of 100 sets. The Muon speaker stands more than six feet tall. The aluminum body holds a four-way speaker system mounted to the front and two booming bass drivers in the rear. Wanna bring sexy audio to your pad? Either drop $140,000 on a pair or hire Rihanna to do a two-month residency.


Sexiest Watch
In the early 1950s, the Carrera Panamericana car race, which ran from the southern tip of Mexico to the Rio Grande, was the sexiest and deadliest in the world. Porsche named a car after it (the iconic Carrera). The race also inspired this watch: Tag Heuer’s Grand Carrera, first launched in 1964 and relaunched this year. The automatic winding 40.2 mm timepiece has a curved sapphire crystal and a double sapphire crystal case-back. It won’t hit 160 mph, but it’ll tell time in style.



Sexiest Pocket Gizmo
Plug this five-inch-long DJ system into any amp and you’ve got an instant house party. Tonium’s Pacemaker holds 120 gigs of music and has two channels (like two turntables), so you can fade a tune into another. Work the “knobs” to tweak pitch and speed.



Sexiest Murder Weapon
Every dude needs a kitchen blade for all tasks—including scaring your loved ones shitless. Our pick? Brieto’s lust-worthy Yo-Deba, a chef’s knife crafted from a single piece of hammered, high-carbon stainless steel. Ideal for cutting meat on the bone.



Sexiest Fashion Accessory
She says: “Hey, that’s beau­tiful.” You say: “Thanks, sweetheart. It’s a black studded money clip from Burberry. So how much do I owe you for the hour?” Answer: “For you? It’s free.”