These photos of people filling their shorts might put you off a visit this weekend.
It's the weekend before Halloween, which means you might well be thinking of visiting a haunted house near you. Before you do, look at this collection of photos – courtesy of the spook-loving folks at America Haunts, who know how to run a Halloween attraction like no one else on this side of the grave – and ask yourself: Do I really want my date to see me looking like this?
Bates Motel, Philadelphia, PA
"Oh God Kevin, I TOLD YOU I FUCKING HATE SLEEVE TATTOOS."
The Dent Schoolhouse, Cincinnati, OH
When your friend reacts with a slight raise of the eyebrows and you've gone full Home Alone, you're probably no longer "the cool one".
13th Floor, Denver, CO
Someone's mom's been caught "reading" 50 Shades Of Grey in the bathroom again.
Erebus Haunted House, Pontiac, MI
This looks like us when we walk through the perfume section of a department store.
Kersey Valley Spookywoods, Greensboro Winston-Salem, NC
"I HAVE THIS WEIRD STABBING PAIN AND I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING. CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE THE NURSE'S OFFICE IS, PLEASE?"
The Beast, Kansas City, KS
We're guessing it actually stands for "Dude's Anus Rapidly Emptying".
Netherworld, Atlanta, GA
"OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU, FENCE!"
Show me something hilarious.
Take me to the girls.