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How To Do Everything: A YouTube Compendium

Turns out cat videos aren't the only useless part of the site. 

Any schmuck on the street can teach you how to tie your shoes or hot-wire a car (maybe it depends on the street to some extent), but no other resource offers such a comprehensive and useful archive of how-to videos than YouTube. We've culled from the herd and collected the best videos to help you, quite literally, know how to do everything.

How To Make A Fire From An Orange


We can't tell you how many times we've found ourselves out in the wild with nothing but a loin cloth, a spear fashioned from a sharpened rock, and more fresh citrus than we know what to do with. Thanks, Dallas Cowboy fan and his heavily-breathing cameraman!

How To Become Pope



No, this isn't a parody starring James Franco and some '90s actor you've forgotten about until now. This is the actual way to become BMAVC*. We're just slightly peeved at the sarcastic tone the narrator takes on when advising us on how to become the Holiest of Holies. You don't think I can become a Cardinal, guy? JUST WATCH ME.


*Big Man At Vatican City

How To Wrap A Cat For Christmas


Are you tired of delivering Christmas cats in boring old gift bags? Well this guy has got a solution. And he's not flying by the seat of this pants, either. This man is a cat-wrapping professional, and he conducts his business as such. As for the well-being of the cat, well, it seems like he couldn't care less.

How To Eat Corn In 10 Seconds


I think everything that could be said about this video is found in this kid's face, post-corndrill. 

How To Save A Life – The Fray


Get out of here, The Fray! Until you add a verse about doing an emergency tracheotomy with a pen, this song is useless. 

How To Eat An Apple Like A Boss


Apparently "like a boss" means that if you eat it from the bottom to the top, it becomes ok to eat the core and seeds. The more you know (the more you barf).

How To Barf, Puke, Vomit In Space


Finally! Something useful! If only Commander Upchuck had demonstrated his zero-g regurgitation, this would be the perfect YouTube clip. 


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