While Netflix boasts 25 million subscribers, it also suffers from a relative dearth of quality movies in the “Watch Instantly” streaming section—that is, unless you really love Wesley Snipes. And yet, upon further examination, we unearthed a weird finding. The films in this section may actually serve an even higher purpose than entertaining: Netflix’s “view now” movies appear to be painstakingly curated in such a way as to teach men how to dress. See the proof below.
(relevant part starts at 4:08)
How to Dress If You’re Going to Vegas
Movie: Rain Man
Garments: Gray suits
Rain Man was a film about complete opposites. Charlie (Tom Cruise) lacked compassion, while Ray (Dustin Hoffman), was completely devoid of social skills. Add in that they were estranged siblings and this film seemed like a recipe for disaster. It’s only fitting that the most pivotal scene in the film, where Ray dazzles counting cards in the City of Lost Wages, is also its greatest fashion moment. The matching grey suits worn by Charlie and Ray not only look good enough to get a pro-bono pro-boner from a lady of the night, but it served as the unification of a once fractured family.
How to Dress After Graduating High School
Movie: Dazed and Confused
Garments: Concert t-shirt
Matthew McConaughey’s molasses-paced portrayal of David Wooderson in Dazed and Confused made underachievers everywhere content with their mediocrity. Wooderson’s classic ensemble, Ted Nugent t-shirt, mustache and corduroys, is the perfect get up for looking like you’ve aged appropriately since graduating, and screams that your garden apartment definitely has a lava lamp in it. To high school girls, that combination is more in vogue than bullying foreign exchange students. Don’t have a Ted Nugent t-shirt?…Megadeth will do.
How to Dress When Taking the Stage
Movie: The Blues Brothers
Garments: Black anything
We’re talking about a mission from God here. Jake and Elwood, more commonly referred to as the Blues Brothers, made the black suit, skinny tie, fedora and sunglass combination a look that remains iconic even 31 years later. This could be an apt Wesley Snipes observation too: always bet on black. The black on black combination remains a constant throughout the film, and even as the Illinois Nazis (cops) chase after them, the boys refuse to ditch their outfits.
How to Dress If Working From Home
Movie: Where the Buffalo Roam
Holder Bill Murray’s portrayal of the late, great Hunter S. Thompson in Where the Buffalo Roam was a role that seemed to fit as naturally as a cigarette butt at the lips of the iconic journalist. Writing is a profession that lends itself to working from the comfort of one’s home, which inevitably means tapping away at the keyboard in nothing but soiled tighty-whiteys that bare the tattooed tread of Cheetos fingers. Murray’s cigarette holder provides just the right amount of class to a work environment where fashion accessories include chest hair. A little bit of dignity can go a long way for the self-employed. Members of the fashion community refer to this as gonzo-chic.
How to Dress When Telling a Lie
Movie: The Usual Suspects
Garments: Ordinary Jacket
In the fashion world, there’s a big difference between being stylish and being effective. The latter lends itself to Kevin Spacey’s portrayal of Verbal in The Usual Suspects. The way Verbal dresses, in decrepit faded jacket, is every bit a part of the ruse as the story he tells. Some of the biggest criminal masterminds in history have drawn police heat simply by the way they dress. Not Keyser Söze. His drab ensemble screams of “snitch,” and that’s exactly what he intended. Some of the most effective pieces of clothing provide nothing more than a subtle misdirection.
How to Dress in Extreme Heat
Movie: Do the Right Thing
Long before Spike Lee was barking at players and refs alike at Madison Square Garden, he wrote, starred and directed in his magnum opus, Do the Right
Thing. Set during the hottest day of the year in Bed-Stuy, tensions amongst a melting pot of seemingly melting people was at an all-time high. Who would have thought that an Air Jordan sneaker would add fuel to the flames? So if it was a contributing factor to a less than savory exchange, why wear them? Because it’s better to be like Mike, than like Chad from Boulder, Colorado who’s wearing socks with sandals.
How to Dress When You Inevitably Go Back to Vegas
Garments: Beige and black suits
Every guy makes a return to Las Vegas despite the burning sensation that never let him forget his first visit. In Swingers, much like in Rain Man, it’s a pairing of polar opposites. Mike (Jon Favreau) lacked confidence, while Trent (Vince Vaughn) thought that he was God’s gift to women. When the duo found themselves arguing pick-up semantics, which inevitably worked, they could just as easily have been discussing how the suit makes the man. In a recent study, 91 percent of Americans said that dressing well makes a man look more physically attractive then he really is. You’re so money, baby!