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How To Escape a Charging Bull

If 3,000 pounds of raging beef has beef with you, here’s what to do.

Photo by Juan Pelegr / Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

1. Don’t piss the bull off in the first place and it won’t charge you. Too late for that? Quickly move on to Step 2.

2. If he looks like he’s about to attack, you’ve got a decision to make. Bulls run fast, horns down, ready to de-ball you. If you can’t reach a safe spot—behind a door or a fence—in seconds, don’t run. Hustle on to Step 3.

3. Take off your shirt. Already shirtless? Lose the pants. Toss them away from you; the bull should follow them, giving you time to skedaddle. Didn’t make it? At least the ER doc won’t have to cut off your clothes to reattach your scrotum.