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How To Insta-Bust Your Brackets

blog_1.jpgSure, most guys aren't exactly a bastion of college basketball knowledge. In fact, you probably didn't even start caring until the brackets were announced this past week. But, then you'll put in the effort, crunch the numbers, and finally arrive at a sensibly-selected winner among this madness. Others? Not so much. Our Managing Editrix and unabashed basketball noob has a whole other set of criteria: She selects winners like you select hook-ups two minutes before the bar closes - with your eyes closed, your judgment impaired, and, hopefully, some luck on your side.

MIDWEST BRACKET
#1 Louisville vs. #16 Alabama St./Morehead St.
"I didn't think it was fair for Louisville to go against two teams."

#9 Siena vs. #8 Ohio St.
"I went to a Wisconsin football game in Wisconsin. Ohio beat Wisconsin, so I want Siena to beat Ohio."

#12 Arizona vs. #5 Utah
"I just don't like the state of Utah."

#4 Wake Forest vs. #13 Cleveland St.
Because Cleveland is a city, not a state.

#6 West Virginia vs. #11 Dayton
"Wasn't that where they had the shooting? I think they deserve some positivity. It was Virgina Tech? Close enough."

#3 Kansas vs. #14 North Dakota St.
"I have a friend who's a big fan. Rock Chalk, Jayhawk!"

#10 USC vs. #7 Boston College
"I was annoyed they didn't abbreviate Boston College as BC, but they did abbreviate USC."

#2 Michigan State vs. #15 Robert Morris
"I think I know someone from Michigan."


WEST BRACKET
#16 Chatanooga vs. #1 Connecticut
"I mean, you can't put that on a list and expect me not to pick it. It's a funny word."

#9 Texas A&M vs. #8 BYU
"I didn't pick them just because of the ampersand this year. I'm in a pool where you pick a name out of a hat and that's who I got."

#5 Purdue vs. #12 Northern Iowa
"Because I like chicken."

#4 Washington vs. #13 Mississippo St.
"Just 'cause."

#6 Marquette vs. #11 Utah St.
"I picked them originally because I have a friend who works for what I thought was Marquette Jets, but it's actually Marquis Jets."

#3 Missouri vs. #14 Cornell
"I don't think they get enough love."

#10 Maryland vs. #7 California
"I'm not sure why I picked them actually."

#2 Memphis vs. #15 CSU Northridge
"I don't know who the other school is."

EAST BRACKET
#1 Pittsburgh vs. E. Tennessee St.
"They are having a good sports year. The Steelers won, right?"

#8 Oklahoma St. vs. #9 Tennessee
"No comment."

#12 Wisconsin vs. #5 Florida St.
"I'm a huge fan, even though I am not from there nor did I go to school there."

#4 Xavier vs. #13 Portland St.
"Because I don't get to write X's enough."

#6 UCLA vs. #11 VCU
"UCLA has one more initial than the other team."

#14 American vs. #3 Villanova
"Because my sister went there. But, come to think of it, she also went to Villanova Law..."

#7 Texas vs. #10 Minnesota
"I didn't pick anyone because Duke is going to beat whoever won anyway."

#2 Duke vs. #15 Binghamton
"See above."


SOUTH BRACKET
#1 North Carolina vs. #16 Radford
"What the fuck is a Radford?"

#9 Butler vs. #8 LSU
"Because it'd be nice to have a butler."

#5 Illinois vs. #12 West. Kentucky
"I've never heard of a West Kentucky—it's not like West Virginia. I don't understand why they have their own thing."

#4 Gonzaga vs. #13 Akron
"Gonzaga—it's fun to say!"

#11 Temple vs. #6 Arizona St.
"My friend is Jewish. She goes to temple."

#3 Syracuse vs. #14 Stephen F. Austin
"I didn't think one dude playing against a whole team is fair. He doesn't stand a chance."

#7 Clemson vs. #10 Michigan
"Because it was the other team that I picked out of the hat."

#2 Oklahoma vs. #15 Morgan St.
"I like the song."