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Posted Saturday 07/28/2007 1:00 AM in
Articles
by Sean Cunningham
50. Dogs in handbags
Wasn’t picking up their crap enough? If you need a pet you can carry everywhere, check out intestinal parasites.
49. Adults on scooters
There’s a time for a man to put away his action figures and enter the big-boy world. Lose the Razor and get a car. 
48. “Crazy,” by Gnarls Barkley
Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo. Great on their own, annoying together. The song’s catchy as plague, but it kills you slowly.
47. Whale tails
We have nothing against the top of a gal’s thong (or, for that matter, the actual tail of a whale). The retardedly large spoiler on the back of your Honda? Retarded.
46. Pictures of your children
They’re the light of your life. Doesn’t mean they’re interesting to look at (unless it’s your 17-year-old twins on spring break).
45. Convoluted bongs
Last we checked, you could get high using an apple and aluminum foil. Let’s make some sacrifices, folks—there’s a war going on! 
44. Men in helmets
Playing for the Packers? Jumping your bike over the Snake River? If not, let the wind whip through your frickin’ hair already.
43. Dane Cook
Some comics get better each time out. And others prove to be Boston frat-boy douchebags who used up their 15 minutes of funny long ago. Goodbye!
42. Utah
Unlike Nevada, this desert doesn’t offer slots or hookers (and makes it tough to get booze). There’s more to life than tabernacle choirs, Mormons.
41. ‘That’s just the way I roll.’
During the last election, seven different states voted in favor of ballot initiatives stating that stabbing to death anyone who uses this phrase is justifiable homicide. After all, brutally snuffing out the life of a fellow human being would be just their way of rolling.
