iRobot Vacuum Cleaner (irobot.com)
Who are you, George Jetson? A gift straight out of the passive aggressive catalogue, this'll quiet things down in the bedroom quicker than herpes. No matter how space-age cool, it's still like giving Windex.
Instead, buy it for: Your sister.



Trucker Babe Flask (bewild.com)
Just how did these booze-smuggling devices get to a place where they're produced in beautiful bronzed or diamond-studded models anyway? The "trucker babe flask" has a certain kitschy charm, but unless you're a hip-hop mogul defined by your bling, this gift either says, "I like you better drunk" or, "Please get busted for a D.U.I."
Instead, buy it for: The co-worker in AA who got the promotion over you.



Giada de Laurentiis Cookbook
Why not just vomit onto the plate of pasta your lady just made you? It's the same message. Plus, there's the bonus message that you think Giada's really hot—which she is, but it's still a total shortcut to poison in your pudding.
Instead, buy it for: Your mother-in-law.



Rod Stewart's Still the Same: Great Rock Classics of Our Time
How long before Stewart cuts a record full of Rod Stewart songs? Legend or not, cut the crap, not another covers record. What's next, a Twisted Sister Christmas record? (Oops, me thinks there is one!)
Instead, buy it for: Are you illiterate? No one!



"I'm Too Sexy for My Socks" Socks (absolutesocks.com)
Leave socks in general to the moms, grandmas, sisters, et al, and the ones with funny sayings on them still in the store. Even with a cute line stitched into the fabric, this is one step away from deodorant or tampons.
Instead, buy it for: The roommate with foot odor.