WORST

1. Men Who Dance
If Jean-Claude Van Damme taught us anything, it's that men should never bust a move in public. It's all kinds of awkward, and will never get you laid. Even worse, Dancing With the Stars has managed to convince world-champion athletes to hit the floor. Come on, Floyd Mayweather, we want to see you bashing brains, not flitting to the fox-trot.

2. "2Girls1Cup"
We like porn. We like going number two. We even like watching porn while we go number two. But we DO NOT like porn that involves people going number two. Sure the reaction videos this clip has spawned are great, but we never dreamed that the day Internet porn went mainstream this would be its ambassador.

3. David Beckham Comes to America
Unless you were comatose this summer (you're the lucky one, patient 1307-BD), you couldn't escape the buzz surrounding Beckham's arrival in the States. Why should you care about a frosted fop who makes buttloads of money to play a sport no one cares about, only to wind up on the DL a month after his first game? You shouldn't, no matter what the virtual blow job on ESPN's home page said.

4. Boston's Sports Dominance
If you're somehow unfamiliar with how insufferable Boston's fans are, just read this. Between the Red Sox winning the World Series, the Celtics looking their best since Bird, and the Patriots storming toward a perfect season, we fully expect the city's douche baggery to reach record highs. Take it easy, assholes—Boston College is still in the Champs Sports Bowl.

5. Oscar De La Hoya in Women's Underwear
As if Mayweather's stint on Dancing With the Stars wasn't bad enough for boxing, the sport's golden boy allegedly got wasted and let strippers photograph him in boy shorts and fishnets. We seriously hope that all the denials made by his attorney were true.





6. Crocs
Don't be fooled by Heisman winner Tim Tebow: Crocs are not acceptable. In any color. EVER.

7. Bear Grylls Is Exposed as a Faker
Even though he made us look like small girls, we revered the Man vs. Wild star. So when it was revealed he "faked" some of his segments, we were in disbelief. We defended him (how do you fake drinking the water from elephant crap?), but even so, one of our true idols now has a black cloud over him. Oh well, at least we've still got Evel Knievel.




8. Evel Knievel Dies
What? You're joking, right? Damn, this year sucked! Truthfully, it's a wonder this death defier made it as long as he did. At least we chatted with him one last time. Rest in peace, you steel-balled S.O.B.

9. Jimmy Dean Reduces Sausage From 16 to 12 Ounces
Seriously, Jimmy Dean. How is any self-respecting southern man supposed to provide for his obese family with your 12-ounce " roll" of sausage? You deserve all the angry voice mails you receive.



10. The Lame Ending of The Sopranos
Not that we expected very much after the three crap seasons that preceded the series finale, but David Chase really outdid himself in his efforts to aggravate us. (You owe us an unsmashed TiVo, ass.) When we're coming up with better endings, you know you have problems. Personally, we would have loved to have seen Tony choke on an onion ring or maybe even have Flower [FADE TO BLACK].