Does anyone really care about Britney’s latest breakdown or Lindsay getting another DUI? Not so much. But a paparazzi shot of Hayden Panettierre in a bikini? Now, that’s news we can use. Enter the “pervarazzi,” a new wave of Web sites that share one common goal: to provide leering cubicle monkeys with red-carpet nipple slips, poolside camel toe, and inadvertent celebrity hoo-ha flashes, all served up with a heaping dose of snark.

 

The most entertaining of the bunch is Drunken Stepfather, a four-year-old T&A bonanza peppered with the misogynistic, deranged, and often hilarious ramblings of a 37-year-old letch named Jesus Martinez (a fictional character created by the site’s author). The postings range from the appealing (“Jessica Alba’s Nipples in a Bikini”) to the slightly less so (“Reese Witherspoon’s Mom Ass in Yoga Pants”), but it’s still more fun than clicking on the Drudge Report.

“Sites that show hot starlets in compromising positions are in the gray area between legitimate news and porn, so you can pretend you’re looking at Paris Hilton upskirt pics because you want to know what she’s up to,” says Martinez, whose site gets 100,000 visitors a day. Tamer sites like Egotastic! and Hollywood Tuna draw even bigger audiences, thanks to fewer nude shots, which allows them to be linked more often. Straight-up boobage or not, the perva­razzi posse aims to get you as titillated as possible without the risk of being caught staring at hard­core smut. “These sites are the closest thing to porn that still may be safe for work,” says Noah Robischon, managing editor of blog empire Gawker Media. “And the headlines are a lot funnier.” Just don’t forget to wipe the sweat off your mouse before you go home.