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VIDEO

The 7 Stages Of Being Fat

America is getting fatter and fatter, so in an effort to help guide you through the fatness, we decided to label each stage.

Posted Wednesday 08/26/2009 3:58 PM in Articles by Justin Halpern, Eric Alt, Brenan Sharp, Cory Jones

Filed under: obese, fattest, america, fat, funny, stages of fat, obesity, stages of obesity

As America gets fatter and fatter, we thought we'd help us all figure out what stage of obesity we fall in. So put that third slice of cheesecake down and learn how fat you can really get (If you're not already in Stage 7.)

Stage 1: Potentially Fat

Stage 2: Topanga From "Boy Meets World" Fat

Stage 3: "Party Animal" Fat

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MOST RECENT COMMENTS

Posted by Johnny on 08/27/2009 9:39 AM

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LOLOL Awesome.

Posted by dave barnaby on 08/27/2009 10:59 AM

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hahah FATTY!

Posted by Michael on 08/27/2009 11:36 AM

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"Don't look at me like that. Fat chicks need love too... but they got to pay." Glen Quagmire

Posted by lui_mirel on 08/27/2009 2:23 PM

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Lol the picture of the womens ass made me close the window immediately only to have to reopen the article to finish reading it :[

Posted by sasdasd on 08/27/2009 3:01 PM

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this is just f***d up and mean. our society is screwed in the head. stop making fun of people and help them, ffs.

Posted by no on 08/27/2009 3:03 PM

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you guys just filter the truth.

Posted by JohnnyG on 08/27/2009 3:13 PM

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"stop making fun of people and help them" We have gyms, plastic surgery, and diet soda. If they don't take advantage of those things, they are free game.

Posted by Evens Moise on 08/27/2009 3:25 PM

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I could read part 5-7. so funny and true. LOL

Posted by rebecca on 08/27/2009 3:43 PM

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gee whiz never thought I might relate to a story like this!! However, in just 4 months stage 3 is looking familar.

Posted by Brian on 08/27/2009 3:46 PM

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I'm Sporty Fat!!!!!!

Posted by Dave on 08/27/2009 4:35 PM

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Very funny. You may have successfully maximized the humor factor (which is the point of a comedy article) but if you wanted accuracy, there needs to be a "normal" obese level (that MOST people fit in) in between 4 & 5, then 5-7 can all be combined into one super-awful category fit for a Maury Povich episode.

Posted by Mike on 08/27/2009 5:07 PM

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The question is, do I forward this article to my fat friends and risk insulting them? The answer to that question is yes, they should have thought of that before they got fat.

Posted by allen on 08/27/2009 5:10 PM

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some people cant help there selfs or have mental probs no one thinks about that...it takes allot for some one to help there self when all hope seems lost it takes a rude awaken to help them......also somt people do eat allot and get big and dont care what others think or bother to slow down for there health.best thing to do is think of it this way if some one close to u was fat or ugly or had problems and u cared for them would u waqnt someone being mean or saying hurtful things to them? just another point of view

Posted by WS on 08/27/2009 5:30 PM

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compassion!

Posted by doug on 08/27/2009 5:44 PM

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Oh crap I am totally in that first stage, although full visual contact with penis has remained so far.

Posted by Viz on 08/27/2009 6:29 PM

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Great insight - you are way better than a doctor!

Posted by nomatophobic on 08/27/2009 7:22 PM

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Who the crap is doing your photoshopping? You managed to do the only thing that could distract one from a freakishly fat person.