Five intrepid (and by intrepid we mean pudgy) editors will take their bodies to the limit in eight straight weeks of grueling workouts, gut-busting diets, and dirty tricks to prove once and for all: Who is Maxim’s Biggest F’n Loser? (And to win some bodacious prizes.) For the next two months, loyal readers of Circus Maximus can bear witness to the pound-sheddiest, ex-lax-drinking-est fitness competition in modern history.

Introducing the competitors:

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Dan Bova
Executive Editor
Height: 5’ 6”
Weight: 159 lbs.
Goal: To not be short, balding and fat.
Motto: I will not wear lifts, I will not get hair plugs, but, damn it, I will jazzercise!




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David Swanson
Features Editor
Height: 5’8”
Weight: 155 lbs.
Goal: The body of Bar Rafaeli.
Motto: Anything Jared can do, I can do better.



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Patrick Carone
Senior Editor
Height: 6’
Weight: 190 lbs.
Goal: I’m not just in this to win the competition; I’m here to show my body who’s the boss. And that would be me, not Tony Danza.
Motto: "You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I'll guarantee you'll win." -Patch Adams



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Mike Dawson
Senior Associate Editor
Height: 5’7”
Weight: 168 lbs.
Goal 1: Prep for nude volleyball season. Go Hard Spikes!
Goal 2: ‘Roid rage incident at Easter dinner.
Motto: Shed and shred, bros. Shed and shred.





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Jesse Brukman
Assistant Editor
Height: 6’3”
Weight: 219 lbs.
Goal: I want to see my penis again when I shower.
Motto: Wolverines!

Let the games begin!