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The gaffe: You puke on a scary dude with a neck tat.
The sauce says: “Hey, thug life, if I’d known that bothered you, I’d never have pissed in your purse.”
You say: “Sorry, kind sir. Bad reaction to the chemo.”

The gaffe: You hit on another guy’s lady.
The sauce says: “What’s the difference between your girlfriend and an Irish field? I don’t know, either, but I’ll tell you this: She’s a whore!”
You say: “Forgiveness, boy-o, she reminded me of me old sweetheart…before the famine got her.”

The gaffe: You’re out of cash when the tab comes.
The sauce says: “See this kiss me, i’m irish button? That means I drink free, dickhole.”
You say: “Apologies. I’ll hit the ATM. In the meantime, go ahead and treat yourself to a shepherd’s pie on me!”