SCENARIO: You finish laps at your apartment pool and return to your humble abode. While changing out of your swimming trunks your new girlfriend catches a shocking glimpse of your amazingly shrunken man package.

HOW IT REALLY GOES DOWN: The look on her face says it all: OMG! Realizing that she’s dating a man in a toddler’s body, she suddenly has somewhere else to be. You give chase, blurting out the theory of shrinkage, but it does no good. Two hours later, when Mr. Happy returns to its manly status, you photograph it with your cell phone with a note that says, “Look what you’re missing!” Unfortunately, you send it to your grandmother.

SMOOTH MOVE: Before she can say a word, channel James Bond. Look her directly in the eye, give a wink, and with a slight British accent tell her that you’ve trained your body to do things some pretty amazing things. If she plays her cards right, she’ll soon bear witness to something truly wondrous.


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