SCENARIO: You finally work up the courage to tell the girl of your dreams how you feel. You’re pouring your heart out like a Hallmark greeting card: “You’re the only one for me,” “I’ve loved you since the day I saw you,” and you finish by leaning in, slowly moving your face closer to hers, staring into her eyes...

HOW IT REALLY GOES DOWN: Her laugh says it all: “No chance, pal!” This is not at all how you pictured it playing out in your mind the last 500 times. You blurt out, “Are you sure?” Followed by, “But I tattooed your name on my thigh…twice. It really hurt!” Her hysterical laughter continues as she snaps photos of your contorted, man-cry face, pictures that will inevitably accompany her forthcoming blog post titled, “Ewww…He wanted me to kiss him!”

SMOOTH MOVE: As soon as she begins to laugh, turn the tables. Stand up, cock your head back and belt out a maniacal laugh as if you’ve just punked her so hard her grandchildren will be embarrassed when they hear the story. “You thought I wanted to kiss you?" you ask, pointing to your cheek. "You've got some schmutz.” Then take a picture of her befuddled face that will accompany your own blog post titled: “This chick is crazy. She thought I wanted to kiss her!"