The news media is busy instilling the fear of microbial deathbringers onto us, but swine flu, schmine flu—you can't keep the boys from playing with their toys. We just received a very special package from Hasbro toys containing a re-released version of the Super Soaker 50. Remember? It was the one your brother broke when he tried peeing in the reserve tank as a "practical joke." Ah, but I digress. The 15-dollar water blaster is supposedly "back and better than ever" with a sturdier design, and the ability to hold up to 25 ounces and blast up to 35 feet. It's been 20 years since its original release, but age can never take away its usefulness in some of our favorite summer activities—watergun fights and wet t-shirt contests. Hail to the king, baby!

We took ol' Soaky out for a spin. Look who got mad at us:

One of our tech nerds.


Our recycling bin.


People underneath our balcony.


First guy who came out of the elevators.


The meeters in a meeting. (Looks boring anyway.)


A computer. (It works better now.)


Glass doors.


The bathroom door. (It looks like someone pottied there now. Didn't do it.)


The next blockbuster first-person shooter: Gears of War 3: New York City!