Here's my dream: I want to invite this guy to my parents' house for dinner. That way when I burp (and I often do), and my mom says, "That's so disgusting. You have to the loudest burper ever." I can tell her "No, actually Paul is." I'll turn to Paul, give him a sip of my "fizzy drink" and say, "Hit it, Paul!" And then Paul, the World Burping Champion, will let out a 110 decibel, window-rattling, bowel-loosening, paint-peeling belch. And I'll look at my mom and go, "See."

By the way, does anybody know where I can find the World Farting Champion?