Regretting what that third stick of cotton candy and 8th deep-fried churro is going to do to your ever-expanding, amusement-park-attending ass? Ride one of these stomach-punching coasters and kiss those high-calorie treats goodbye—straight into the lap of the person sitting next to you.


The coaster: Fahrenheit at Hershey Park, PA

Where you’ll lose your lunch: You make a 90-degree ascent up a 121 mountain of metal and despair. Then comes the drop. The 97-degree negative drop, which makes you feel like you’re falling straight on your face—the face you just stuffed with 20 fun-size Mr. Goodbars. Turn to your left and honk.

Click here for more info on Hershey Park, and here to visit the official site!


The coaster: Diamondback, Paramount Kings Island, OH

Where you’ll lose your lunch: With a total of 10 drops, this ride wants nothing more than to empty you stomach, and make your testicles return to their home in your lower body cavity. The good news is that if you do blow chunks, the Diamondback bathes you with “snake spit” when the ride is mercifully over. Refreshing!

Click here for more info on Paramount Kings Island, and here to visit the official site!


The coaster: The Incredible Hulk Coaster, Islands of Adventure, FL

Where you’ll lose your lunch: Hulk no feel so good! Probably because Hulk not used to going from 0 to 40 MPH in 2 seconds (producing g-forces equivalent to flying in an F-16), and then being flipped upside-down 7 times. This last time Hulk give in to “Don’t be such a Gamma pussy!” taunts from his so-called friends.

Click here for more info on Islands of Adventure, and here to visit the official site!


The coaster: Millennium Force at Cedar Point, OH

Where you’ll lose your lunch: Somewhere along the 310-foot climb to the top you’ll start to feel it. Then, as you hurtle back to earth at a nearly vertical 80-degree angle upwards of 93 MPH, it hits you. And by “it” we mean your breakfast pizza and by “you” we mean the now-vomit covered 10-year-old crying behind you.

Click here for more info on Cedar Point, and here to visit the official site!

The coaster: Kingda Ka, Six Flags Great Adventure, NJ

Where you’ll lose your lunch: No coaster goes faster (128 MPH) or higher (456 feet). So basically take your pick of any point along its 3,118 feet of track. That’s nearly a mile for your bile!

Click here for more info on Six Flags Great Adventure, and here to visit the official site!

The coaster: The Cyclone, at Coney Island

Where you’ll lose your lunch: Truth be told, you’ll be in too much pain to think about yacking. After 72 years of use, this rickety wonder with the worn away padding will leave you battered, bruised and possibly dead. (In 2007, a guy broke several vertebrae while riding it and later died.) The Cyclone is not to be ridden by pregnant women or men who hope to make a woman pregnant some day.

Click here for more info on Coney Island, and here to visit the official site!