For this week’s SEXPLOSION we’re going to tackle important life issues, such as, masturbation (hurting or helping?) aphrodisiacs (Spanish fly, anyone?) and the ultimate relationship killer (boring sex).


Q: Can too much masturbation hurt your sex life?

Jess: Mostly no. Personally, I think masturbation is just straight-up awesome! However, I’m tossing the word ‘mostly’ into my answer because there are some people that can become slightly addicted to the instant gratification that sexing-up oneself brings.

Examples are:
-    It is not a necessity to buy yourself dinner in order to get a chance at getting yourself off.
-    You know exactly what twisted perversions you need to do in order to make this act of self-love as  
quick, efficient and enjoyable as possible.
-    There is no need for pillow talk and spooning afterwards.

So, when does it become too much? Who’s to say? Personally, I have to go at it at least once a day. Therefore, I’m going to say anywhere from 1-3 times a day is probably just enough to keep you sated while not interfering with your other day-to-day activities.

PS: You will not grow hair on your palms. Nor will God kill kittens.

2). Do aphrodisiacs really work? If so, which have the best track record?

Jess: Scientists seem to have split the definition of aphrodisiacs into two categories: The mind and the body. In regards to the mind, a person might associate a certain smell, color, object or taste to the idea of pleasurable sex. If he or she comes in contact with that item and suddenly feels desire, then that item could be considered an aphrodisiac. For the body, certain foods and vitamins might urge one to produce more hormones, thereby affecting the libido.

Technically, the FDA says that aphrodisiacs are nothing more than myth. However, the belief in aphrodisiacs has a pretty long history. Some of the more commonly-believed aphrodisiacs are: chocolate, oysters and Spanish fly (which is actually a poison and CAN kill you).

Which have the best track record? I have no idea. But consider my lack of knowledge your blessing in disguise. You now have a license to experiment! (Just don’t do the Spanish Fly thing. It’ll inflame your kidneys and make your dick and balls itch.


3). I've been in a relationship for three years and the sex is getting boring - how can I spice things up again?

Jess: Seems to me as if I answered that with my response to question two. EXPERIMENT. Ask your partner about his or her fantasies. What is it they THINK about when they masturbate? Maybe they like a little slap with their tickle? If so, some good ol’ black vinyl bondage tape might be what’s on the menu. Maybe they want more romance? Rose petals, champagne and quality affection would be the route you want to take.

If you’ve tried all that and still the sex seems a little white bread and butter-ish to you, then it’s time to go out and educate yourselves. No, I’m not talking about Cosmo and that craptasam ‘Sex Yoga’ article they always try to fill their empty pages with. I’m talking about a real education.

Since you don’t have Sting’s cell phone number (doesn’t matter - I think he’s lying about the 8 hour sex marathons anyway) the next best thing is to hit up your local bookstore and hit up the sexual self-help section. If you find a book that seems to speak to your interests, by all means pick it up. But don’t stop there! A LOT has been written regarding sexual health – everything from the mysteries of Tantric sex to the more clinical works of Dr. Ruth. Check out a few titles for a more broad understanding of what the authors are trying to accomplish in their writing and what you’re trying to accomplish in the sack.

There is also the option of ‘classes.’ I don’t know enough about these to recommend anything in particular but they are available. That being said, if you choose to go that route make sure your partner is 100 percent comfortable with it and you both do your research!

 

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