Bad News, Guys: Blowjobs Could be Bad for Her Health

But is it worse than smoking?

Sorry boys, turns out blowjobs can lead to cancer. Well, not directly, but they spread HPV, and HPV can cause cancer.

A lot of people are really careful about STI’s during P in V sex, but often don’t think twice before putting their mouths on someone’s junk. Surprise! Oral sex basically carries the same risks as vaginal sex, because hoo-ha or not, it’s still sex.

HPV, or human papillomavirus, accounts for about 25% of mouth cancers and 35% of throat cancers worldwide, compared to the two thirds caused by smoking, Metro asserts. Perhaps one day dicks may come with warning labels, like those on cigarette packs, that say, “Surgeon General’s Warning: it has been determined that sucking on this can cause cancer.”

According to online health clinic Euroclinix, trends indicate that mouth cancer caused by HPV is on the rise, and may even overtake mouth cancer caused by smoking. The number of people contracting HPV is increasing annually, and an estimated 90% of men and 80% of women will contract a strain of the virus at some point in their lives.

It’s important to note that while there are hundreds of strains of HPV, only around 15 are associated with cancer, and the NHS points out that detecting HPV cells in someone with mouth cancer doesn’t necessarily mean that it caused the cancer. But it’s highly likely, because the virus intertwines with the DNA of cancer cells like the little shits they are, making them grow.

Though it’s true that HPV does indeed cause cancer, the claim that it will overtake smoking as the main cause of mouth cancer is called bullshit by some. ‘Smoking is linked to about 65 per cent of mouth cancers in the UK, whereas only 8 to 14 per cent of cases are thought to be linked to HPV,’ Cancer Research UK’s health information officer, Fiona Osgun, told Metro.co.uk.

It’s a stretch to say that blowjobs may soon be more cancerous than cigarettes, but it’s always wise to wrap it up.