In Praise of Quickies

When it comes to getting busy, the best time is any time.
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Ali Drucker
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When it comes to getting busy, the best time is any time.
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He stands behind her, gripping her naked waist. She braces herself, forearms pressed against the dressing-room wall. One minute and 15 seconds later, climax reached, it’s over. The couple gets dressed and rejoins the world—but a video of their brief tryst makes its way online, is viewed more than three million times, and turns the store, a Beijing Uniqlo, into an international tourist destination.

The footage has earned its spot as this year’s most viral quickie, but it’s certainly not the only one. Another pair gained fame for a fast ride in a Boston subway station. A British couple got busy in a phone booth, became local celebrities, then proudly let a reporter interview them outside the fateful box. And there were many more.

No other act in our sex arsenal marries lust, convenience, and sinful impulsivity like the quickie—and now, in the smartphone age, a public rendezvous can make for viral gold, too. But the quickie isn’t just a social-media stunt or a crutch for lackluster bedroom longevity. Women still want to go all night, and we always will—because in all likelihood, a quickie won’t be the greatest sex of our life. It means navigating awkward positions, and odds are she won’t get off. But the rapid spike of anticipation, followed by an instant gratification, is something no marathon session can match. When the right moment strikes, giving in to the urgency of the feeling—however irrational, however ill-considered—makes it exponentially hotter.

That’s why these viral videos are more than just gawk-worthy. For women, they deliver a fantasy played out in pixels. It’s an incredible turn-on to know that men crave us so deeply they don’t want to wait, like the decadent dessert that makes you skip dinner altogether. And yet, it’s scary getting busy where you don’t belong. The videos can function like a public service—a collective coming out that proudly shouts, “Look! See! We all do it!”

Maybe don’t get going on a public fountain like a Russian couple did recently—we’re not all exhibitionists, and jail isn’t sexy—but if a man is bold enough to entice a woman past some closed door, I’m telling you: She will follow.