We knew the journey would be long and hard, but we went looking for the world's sexiest hotels anyway. And while the search itself was very pleasurable, we discovered an obvious flaw in our logic: there isn’t just one kind of sexiness.
Sometimes sexy means a secluded, romantic space where you and your partner can spend hours, um, appreciating each other’s winning personalities. Other times, you want luxurious, indulgent accommodations right in the middle of a city. Occasionally, a sexy hotel can even be trashy, flashy, and out-and-out ridiculous. So our list includes the very best of every category: these are the most seductive hotels around the world—of all flavors and varieties—to get down.
1. The Enchanted Cottage at Blancaneaux Lodge
Mountain Pine Ridge Reserve, Belize
This is the deal: skinny dipping in a private pool in the middle of the rainforest, stars impossibly bright above you, so secluded from everything else in your life that you become the only two people who have ever existed on the planet, at least for a minute. That’s what The Enchanted Cottage at Blancaneaux offers, plus a private bath house with a Japanese tub, steam room, open fire, under-floor heating...let’s just say it’s luxe. Bonus: the cottage comes with a full-time chef and attendant, who is available at the touch of a radio button whenever you’re in the mood for a snack or cocktail. Or both.
2. St. James Hotel
The St. James is simply opulent. It’s in a 19th century chateau inside Paris, so it feels incredibly secluded while still being just a fifteen minute walk from the Arc de Triomphe. They offer a fantastic spa, a playful, sexy jewel-toned decor, and an intimate restaurant run by a Michelin-starred chef. Plus, you know, all of Paris at your feet.
3. Kinsterna Hotel
East Peloponnese, Greece
A luxuruious 500-year-old mansion that serves champagne for breakfast, y’all. If you can be bothered to leave the bedroom (and we kind of hope you can't), they’ll let you join in some brandy-making. Another bonus: the white-sand beaches here aren’t slam-packed with tourists, so you can actually enjoy yourselves.
4. The Penthouse Hotel
Sometimes sex is so much better when it’s the trashy kind of hot. The Penthouse is kind of infamous in Phuket: most of the rooms include sex swings and stripper poles. If you’re bringing a partner, this is the place for them to pack their skimpiest lingerie. If you’re flying solo, you know, hit the ATM first.
5. The Roccia Suite at Bellevue Syrene
Amalfi Coast, Italy
Originally an ancient Roman cave (because sure), this room features a heated pool about three paces from your canopy bed and a private balcony with views of the sea. Oh, and there’s a beach exclusive to hotel guests, just for added seclusion.
6. The Standard High Line
New York, New York
There are other New York hotels that are more opulent, but for exhibitionists, this place remains unparalleled. The walls are windows looking over the Meatpacking District (and the High Line park). We recommend waiting until the hour is late enough that, you know, it’s an adults-only scene, and then enjoy the opportunities afforded.
7. Singita Lembobo
Kruger National Park, South Africa
Seclusion, intimacy, adventure: it’s like a goddamn romance novel in this place. The hotel is smack dab in the middle of a national park known for its thriving wildlife, and your room comes with two beds: one inside and one outside (the staff will drape the outside one with a mosquito net if you decide to sleep under the stars). Plus, the Singita is known for its serious wine cellar. Can't go wrong with a little vino.
8. The Gili Lankanfushi
This is one of those jaw-dropping water villas where all of the rooms have private plunge pools, you can swim with dolphins. If it weren't real, we'd assume it to be an elaborate and fantastical hoax concocted by the very rich.
9. Propeller Island
Is it an art exhibit? Is it a hotel? Who the hell knows. This “habitable work of art,” bills itself as “A Vision Machine Museum to Stay Overnight,” because Germany. The rooms are all positively insane, and they’re all wildly different: in one, the bed is suspended midair on a pulley system, another replaces the notion of beds entirely with twin human-sized cages, another boasts a circular bed that spins when you press a pedal, one is done up like a faux prison cell...it just keeps going.