The Star Wars Cruise May or May Not Be a Trap

Now a Disney property, Star Wars is taking to the high seas.
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Now a Disney property, Star Wars is taking to the high seas.
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The Disney Fantasy carries 4,000 passengers on regular sails between Port Canaveral and the Western Caribbean. Until recently, the 1,450-person-strong cast and crew (those are fungible concepts on a boat with Mickey Mouse ears) has kept passengers amused by dressing as Goofy or Daffy or other fuzzy notables. Now, these floating entertainers are changing into something a little less comfortable, donning stormtrooper suits to celebrate “Star Wars Day,” a brand-new shipboard tradition that replaces the land of wonder with a universe of trade embargoes once a week. Will the children learn about the potential dangers of cloning? About the ways in which an obstructionist senate can facilitate the rise of dictatorial power? About telekinesis? About sexual tension between siblings? It’s our new new hope.

Given that Disney also owns the rights to the Marvel movies, we’re also pretty pumped about the idea of a “Iron Man Day.” Here’s the concept: Give the kids some Bugattis and teach them how to womanize while strengthening the military industrial complex. We’d be into it.