Even the most cowardly men get our time to shine. Watch as these backboneless boobs channel their inner badass.
449628934- You can make this squirrelly Initech employee relocate more often than a Sudanese refugee, and he'll just mumble under his breath. You can even keep his paychecks for no reason, and he'll hardly raise his voice. But mess with his red Swingline stapler, and he'll burn the whole friggin' building down. TPS reports sure are flammable.
449645219- With his glasses and gangsta talk, this nerdling managed to get laid by convincing everyone at a party that he was a 25-year-old Hawaiian criminal. Not bad for a guy whose idea of a great Saturday night is shotgunning beers and watching porn with his two buddies. It would have been even sweeter had his wacky cop buddies not barged in and effectively blocked his cock.
449628990- Will gets sauced at his high school graduation party and ends up onstage doing a rendition of Guns N' Roses' "Paradise City" that would explode the staples currently holding down Axl Rose's face skin. It made him the life of the party and scored him some double-team action onstage, which is just further proof that alcohol is the number one good-decision-making-helper.
449628975- An accounting license isn't exactly a license to kill, but that didn't stop Agent Oscar Wallace from grabbing a shotgun and leveling every gangster in sight during a Canadian border shoot-out. Maybe Wallace went postal after seeing fellow agent George Stone get clipped, or maybe he sensed that in the next scene his brains would be splattered all over an elevator like spin art.
449645243- Judging by the way he gets pushed around, it's pretty safe to say that George McFly pees sitting down. But when he sees his future wife, Lorraine, getting assaulted by Biff in her car, George summons enough manhood to knock him the fuck out, thus pulling off a greater upset than Michael J. Fox winning a staring contest.
449629031- This pudgy 9-year-old didn't need a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle to put preteen tough guy Scut Farkus in a world of hurt. All he needed was the pent-up frustration from years of being bullied accompanied by a string of curse words that earned his mouth a date with a bar of soap.
449628903- All of the stupid chores and chopstick-wielding Mr. Miyagi made him do finally paid off when his one-footed crane kick sent the Cobra Kai home from the All Valley Karate tournament with nothing more than a couple of black eyes and a pissed-off coach. Not only did he win the tourney, but he also landed superhottie Elisabeth Shue.
449628882- It takes a brave man to drop a rapist named Sea Bass who's fixated on your buddy's cornhole. Or, in the case of Lloyd Christmas' dim-witted partner, it just takes your foot catching fire. Upon setting his foot ablaze, Harry runs to the john to douse it in toilet water, only to accidentally knock out a disrobing Sea Bass with the bathroom stall door.
449628849- When he wasn't reading Obscure Sports Quarterly or working out at Average Joe's gym, Gordon must have been busy washing off the shoe prints left on him by his mail-order bride. Although content in his clueless, passive ways for most of the movie ("L for Love!"), Gordon goes into a dodgeball-launching fury after seeing his wife getting frisky with another man.
449628923- This ornery octogenarian spends his time passing out mid-conversation, watching Matlock, and buying Depends with coupons from The Pennysaver. But back in the day, Abe was a hard-nosed WW II sergeant who almost assassinated Hitler. When former platoon member Mr. Burns tries to steal the Hell Fish Bonanza, Abe proves that he's still got some stones left—besides the ones in his kidney.