15 Fake Politicians With a Conscience
Movie and TV candidates who have our precious, fictional vote
Movie and TV candidates who have our precious, fictional vote.
We’ve had a hard time trusting politicians ever since we found out that Mayor McCheese used campaign funds to pay off his pregnant mistress. But not all elected officials are bad guys and gals. The following fictional presidents, governors, mayors, Congressmen and even sheriffs don’t let power kill their conscience. We’d totally vote for them, if we weren’t busy writing “South Park rulez!” as a third party candidate.
President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho (Terry Alan Crews), Idiocracy
Photo: Twentieth Century Fox/Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
President Camacho’s support of a sports drink irrigation system is a little concerning, but he knows enough to consult the smartest guy in the world on the nation’s problems, and not let his stupid citizens kill the man when he suggests water might grow some more vegetables. We appreciate Camacho’s open-mindedness almost as much as we appreciate his sweet name.
Vice President Nance (Ben Kingsley), Dave
Photo: Warner Bros./Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
The scheming masterminds who recruit Dave into their conspiracy have to make up bad things about Vice President Nance (while he’s on a goodwill tour to Africa, no less) because he’s just too damn decent. Once his name is cleared, Nance fights for a new job initiative, and, unlike some people, doesn’t hit on the wife of the prezzie who’s in a coma. Right,Dave?
Congressman David Norris (Matt Damon), The Adjustment Bureau
Photo Courtesy of Universal Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Congressman David Norris is apparently such a great politician that fate lords in fedoras have to mess with his love life because he can’t be distracted from office. It’s unclear what Future President Damon does that’s so important — outlaw the phrase “awesome-sauce” hopefully — but it’s something big and good and not remotely dickish.
Senator Jefferson Smith (James Stewart), Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Photo: Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Jimmy Stewart’s Mr. Smith is so well-known for his heart and integrity that if you listen closely to actual campaign speeches, we’re pretty sure you’ll hear at least one Jefferson Smith line every time. We just wish Obama, Romney and Co. would work on their Stewart accents — it’s really not that hard, guys. “Uh…now look. We need to be good people and whatnot.” See? That was spot-on!
President David Palmer (Dennis Haysbert), 24
Photo: Twentieth Century Fox/Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
David Palmer helped Jack Bauer foil terrorist plots throughout his presidency, despite getting almost assassinated every five minutes and having an insane wife. And now that 24 is over, he informs us about car insurance deals. Thanks, Mr. President!
President Laura Roslin (Mary McDonnell), Battlestar Galactica
Photo: Sci-Fi Channel/Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Laura Roslin can be a divisive character. Some of you got annoyed with her spiritual kick, others didn’t like how she meddled with that cylon child business, still more thought she “wasn’t good enough for my Edward James Olmos.” But she fought hard for her constituents, and even more impressively, couldn’t bring herself to kill this dude when she had the chance. Roslin, you have greater self-control than us.
Mayor Lenny (David Margulies), Ghostbusters
This Man Has No Dick
Ghostbusters — MOVIECLIPS.com
Mayor Lenny does make the mistake of listening ghost-denying jag-offs for the first halves of Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters II. But in both films he eventually backs their unconventional extermination methods and springs the gang out of jail and the mental ward, respectively. Also, he gets to say, “Get me the Ghostbusters,” in a deathly serious voice, which we do to our confused roommates every evening. Our roommates are ghosts…of plants.
Congressman Jeff Johnson (Eddie Murphy), The Distinguished Gentleman
Photo: Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Bluffing your way into Congress so you can get get rich isn’t the most moral move. But just like the Grinch’s heart, or ours after watching baby pandas sneeze, Jeff Johnson’s heart grows three sizes when he realizes how corrupt his peers in Washington are, and he sets out to teach them a lesson. Because if anyone can teach us a thing or two about the perils of greed, it’s Eddie “Norbit” Murphy.
Former Presidents Kramer and Douglas (Jack Lemmon & James Garner), My Fellow Americans
Photo: Warner Bros./Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
They don’t really like each other, but when Kramer’s former veep tries to kill them and frame Kramer for fraud, Kramer and Douglas band together to purge the White House of corrupt officials. It helps that they were played by perpetual good guys Jack Lemmon and James Garner, and were cast against perpetual dickbag Bradley Whitford.
Governor Swann (Jonathan Pryce), Pirates of the Caribbean
Photo Courtesy of Buena Vista Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Elizabeth’s dad is one of the few Port Royal residents who’s Team Jack Sparrow. He supports his daughter’s marriage to a poor blacksmith over Commodore Norrington who, despite his title, is not nearly as cool as the actual Commodores. That makes Swann a pretty stand-up guy, and we didn’t even mention his rad wig.
Al Donnelly (Tim Matheson), Black Sheep
Photo: Paramount Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
When your brother is Chris Farley, keeping him on your campaign shows serious loyalty. And when you let him team up with David Spade and Gary Busey, well, that takes bravery. Al Donnelly has both those qualities, and, unlike his opponent, he doesn’t use dead people to get ahead.
Mayor Goldie Wilson (Donald Fullilove), Back to the Future
All we really know about Mayor Goldie Wilson is that he rises up from a diner job to become mayor of Hill Valley through sheer determination and good ol’ time traveler advice. Plus, Marty McFly likes him, and if you’re cool with the McFlys — or just Michael J. Fox — you’re prohibited from being anything but a good guy.
Mayor Adam West (Adam West), Family Guy
Photo: Twentieth Century Fox/Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Mayor West is actually certifiable, and a pretty reckless politician. Still, wouldn’t you want a former Batman as your mayor?
Sheriff Ed Bell (Tommy Lee Jones), No Country for Old Men
Photo Courtesy of Miramax Films | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
We barely remember that closing monologue he gave (something about Werther’s caramel chews?) but while he’s sheriff, Bell tries to stop crazed, cattle-gun-wielding Dorothy Hamill as best he can. He does a pretty good job for a guy approaching retirement, staying close on the trail and not getting distracted by Matlock reruns. Can’t wait for the sequel, Young People Think They’re So Cool.
Sheriff Chris Vaughn (The Rock), Walking Tall
Photo: MGM/Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
We know Chris Vaughn is based on real sheriff Buford Pusser. We just thought the Rock should be on here because he beats bad people with a two by four.