So how do you want to go?
Breaking up a robbery in a fast-food restaurant, just like River Phoenix in Stand by Me. I think it’s more likely I’ll fall down and fatally hurt myself running with a fork because my food is ready.
Do you have any deathbed confessions?
I’m not going to start giving away secrets just because I’m on my deathbed! No one needs to know I stole the script for Forgetting Sarah Marshall from a dead man’s hand at the Kinko’s on Westwood Boulevard.
Your character on How I Met Your Mother is fascinated with cryptozoology. If you were reincarnated, what mythological species would you become?
What a question! I suppose you think you’ll be able to find some subconscious meaning in my answer that will reveal some strange personality trait I try to keep hidden. Well, that’s ridiculous. Anyway, I would be a unicorn.
In I Love You, Man, you play Paul Rudd’s best bud. Any pranks you’ve played on him that should be punishable by death?
No, but once I was asleep at lunch, and I woke up to Rudd saying softly, “Jas...wake up.” When I opened my eyes he was standing over me with his balls out. The great thing about Rudd is they look exactly how you imagine they’d look.
Rudd goes on a few man-dates in I Love You, Man. With whom would you most like to go on a man-date before your demise?
Dinner and a show with Nathan Lane.
Was there anyone on earth you wanted to punch in the face?
Yeah. At a test screening for Sarah Marshall, some frat kid raised his hand at the end and asked, “What’s up with that guy’s weird dick?”
What’s the wildest thing you ever did while you were alive?
In the Great War of 2023, I led the freedom brigade to victory over the Legion of Destruction.
Got any last words?
In dying whispers to my best friend: “Brian...come here. You have to go to my house, find my laptop, and clear my browsing history.”
How I Met Your Mother airs on CBS Mondays at 8:30 p.m., and I Love You, Man hits theaters March 20.