We could hardly believe Osama Bird Laden singlehandedly took out both engines on the plane that crashed into New York's Hudson River. We went on a fact-finding mission to narrow down the high-flying usual suspects that could've caused the accident.
BIG BIRDAlibi: Was shagging Oscar the Grouch's sister.
CONDORMANAlibi: He hasn't done anything significant in 30 years, so we highly doubt it.
FALKOR FROM THE NEVERENDING STORYAlibi: He's a luck dragon, and being in a plane crash instead of heading home? Kind of unlucky.
GOBBLEDY GOOKERAlibi: Only causes trainwrecks, as in the career of Hector Guerrero after donning the purple turkey costume.
GREAT EAGLES FROM THE LORD OF THE RINGSAlibi: Known as a kind and noble-hearted species that would arrive at a Hobbit's notice. But while more than 150 people survived, zero reports of Hobbits have been received.
PEGASUS FROM CLASH OF THE TITANSAlibi: The crash happened mid-afternoon and, as we all know (read: our Blender editor), Zeus turns Pegasus into a constellation, only visible at night.
SEAN CONNERY'S SEAGULLS FROM INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADEAlibi: A good case can be made by someone who actually took down a plane with birds and then said, "Let my armies be the rocks and the trees—and the birds in the sky." But, try scaring a NYC seagull and they'll mug you at beakpoint.
LARRY BIRDAlibi: Frankly, from what he's shown us in those old McDonald's commercials with Michael Jordan, we think he did it.
Have your own suspect? Let us know!