Against the Ropes

We don’t want to jump to conclusions, but from the looks of things, Meg Ryan has all but given up. Against the Ropes throws her into the ring with a retread rags-to-riches (based very loosely on a true) story about a female boxing promoter who takes a chance on an inner-city thug (poor Omar Epps) and hits it big. Between hastily filmed uppercuts, we learn that women and boxing don’t mix, friendships can be strained under the public spotlight, and attractive actresses can become horribly deformed after too many nips and tucks. We’re also subject to Tony Shalhoub (Monk) as a dangerous gangster and an appearance by Michael Buffer (let’s get ready to retiiiiiiiiiiiiire). Epps and his trainer (Charles S. “Roc” Dutton, who’s also a first-time feature film director here) provide a couple comedic jabs, but we went down for good when Ryan began stumbling through street slang to connect with her fighter—“da bomb” and “handle ur bidness” are but a few of the gems tripped over. At this rate, we’d rather lace up against a nonmedicated Mike Tyson than watch any more of Ryan’s mid-career crisis.