10. Tiny Tim, Tiny Tim's Christmas Album
Nothing welcomes the birth of the messiah quite like ukulele solos.



9. "Singing" animals, Meowy Christmas, Christmas Unleashed, It's a Cow Christmas
Recently declassified government documents show these albums were al Qaeda's first wave of attack.



8. John Denver, "Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk on Christmas)"
If your son was John Denver, wouldn't you spend your holidays at the bottom of a bottle of bourbon?



7. Ally McBeal: A Very Ally Christmas
Ally always indulges on Christmas. She eats a whole bite of ham…and takes a full whiff of mashed potatoes.



6. Christmas with Colonel Sanders
As our 56-inch waistlines will attest, the Colonel knows chicken. Yuletide carols? Not so much.