Your new album is titled Rock and Roll Jesus. Aside from a love of rock, what do you and the Son of God have in common?
Probably the long hair. And I wish I could learn that water-to-wine trick. I’m scared to send my children to church with all the crap going on there. I shouldn’t say more than that, because it’s a touchy subject. But whatever, people need to stop being so fucking uptight.

What’s more important, a hit song on the Billboard charts or a hit song in the strip clubs?
I don’t give a screw about awards or charts. As a man who wants everyone to do well in this country, a song like "So Hot" is a great way for me to support single moms.

Do you still have a stripper pole in your studio?
I’ve got a portable one. Put a pole in a room and girls can’t help themselves. All girls want to be sexy. It’s like having a keg at the party rather than cans of beer.

Is being a rock star the easiest way to get laid?
This story sums it up: A kid’s sitting on his dad’s lap, and the dad says, "Son, someday you’ll love a woman as best you can, but then another man will come along and love her 10 times better. That man is called a musician." I used to call myself Pimp of the Nation, but I had to step it up to International Baller.

What’s your craziest groupie story?
There’s one involving a shady time in a bathroom with a kid on a skateboard with no legs. That’s all I can say.

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Kid Rock answers fans' questions on Blender.com!

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What?! What does that even mean?
I’m not ready to kiss and tell. It’s stupid when guys brag about all the crazy sex they’ve had, because then they get cut off. I don’t want to be cut off.

Is the 4,000th groupie b.j. as good as the first?
They’re all equally evil.

You think anonymous sex is evil?
I didn’t used to. When we were starting out, sex is the reason we played: "Let’s finish this fucking thing. There are blow jobs to be had and liquor to be drunk."

How is playing guitar different from having sex?
It’s easier to put the guitar away when you’re done.