You’re in the midst of a world tour. Do the Foos have any secret preshow rituals?
Some bands pray to God they’ll have the best show of their lives. Some bands huddle in a rugby scrum and yell, “Go team!” We listen to Michael Jackson’s Off the Wall and do Jäger bombs, which are David Lee Roth juice. If you want to be David Lee Roth onstage, you need at least four Jäger bombs to get you there.

Have you ever played a show sober?
Yeah, but not in fucking 15 years. When you play sober, you’re hyperaware of everything going on, whereas nonsober shows are fun because you don’t give a fuck—it usually turns into a blood-and-public-nudity display.

Have you gotten bloody and publicly naked a lot on this tour?
I cracked my head on the mike stand and had this huge goose egg with rips on it. I looked like a Bumfights movie. Pretty gross.

Are you into those Bumfights videos?
Actually, I had a party at my house once and someone brought them, and I was so fucking pissed off because (a) someone turned on a TV at one of my parties, and (b) they played something as horrendously offensive as Bumfights.

So what do you watch on TV?
I’m in love with the Bravo channel. I dig a lot of the metrosexual shows: Top Chef, Project Runway. I do a little America’s Next Top Model every now and then, but that’s just the womanizer in me. I like to see those girls strut.

Is it hard to keep the womanizer in you at bay now that you’re happily married?
No. Women don’t look at me like I’m Fabio; they look at me like I’m Duckie from Pretty in Pink.

You have a little daughter. Are you gonna be one of those “cool” dads who buy their kids beer and smoke pot with them?
No. I’m not going to be one of those rock star parents with massive piles of cocaine lying around for the 10-year-olds to play with.

Any parenting advice for Britney?
Fame will screw with your head, and if you don’t have a solid foundation, you get swept away in it. When Nirvana became famous, I was only 21, but I had a good foundation. Whenever crap got too crazy, I’d go back to Virginia and spend time with the people who loved me the most, and it kept me from getting dragged under. The kids now who are experiencing fame, money, paparazzi—they need to get their asses out of the nightclubs and have a barbecue with their fucking family once a week. It’s not rocket science.