Posted Friday 05/16/2008 1:00 AM in
Articles
by Maxim Staff
Filed under: trailer, preview, movies, breakdown, mummy

00:00:57
Michelle has some magic powers of her own, and her personal "book of shadows" contains a spell used to resurrect the evil Chinese mummy's equally mummified former enemies. That's right…we're talking…

00:01:01
…Not one, but TWO zombie armies! And you balked when we called this possibly the best movie of the summer. But just you wait, Hatey McGee. This movie hasn't even begun to get bat shit yet.

00:01:11
Oh, we heard the Law & Order guy dies at the end of Sex and the City. Whatever.

00:01:18
The only person who isn't returning for the third Mummy is Rachel Weisz as O'Connell's wife, Evelyn. Luckily, Maria Bello was around. How does this compare to the Katie Holmes–Maggie Gyllenhaal switch in Dark Knight? Discuss. Oh, and remember how we said this movie aims higher than "rival zombie armies"? Well…

00:01:19
That's right, YETI FIGHTS! A mother-scratching abominable snowman shows up and starts tossing dudes around. What's that, Indiana Jones? Sorry, what did you say, Bruce Wayne? Exactly. You've got nothing. So, once more, let us demonstrate why we feel the new Mummy is suddenly on our Must-See List:

00:01:20
Fireworks!

00:01:36
Kung fu!

00:01:41
Three-headed, fire-breathing dragons!

00:01:19
AND YETI FIGHTS! That's it, we're spent. Thanks, Mummy. Now don't end up sucking, please.