whichCharacterTougher_rocky_article.jpg
whichCharacterTougher_rambo_article.jpg
ROCKY
RAMBO

OCCUPATION
Leg-breaker; professional boxer; restaurateur
Highly trained Green Beret killing machine; vagrant

whichCharacterTougher_rambo_small.jpg
EDGE: RAMBO
At no point in Rocky's career did he ever have to stuff his best friend's guts back into his bomb-decimated torso.

 
TOOLS OF THE TRADE
Gloves; racks of meat; ratty gray sweat suit
Headband; survival knife; M-60, explosives-tipped arrows
whichCharacterTougher_rambo_small.jpg 
EDGE: RAMBO
The headband almost loses it for him, but we'd rather take a few hundred Everlast blows to the grill than one shot from Rambo's bow.
 
HOMETOWN
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Bowie, Arizona
whichCharacterTougher_rocky_small.jpg 
EDGE: ROCKY
We have to be sympathetic towards a town whose lone sports hero is ficticious.
 
GOAL
To prove that even a lug like he can go the distance with the heavyweight champ; to show that his title defenses weren't all shams; to unite Russia and the U.S.; to reconnect with his son; to prove he still has stuff in his basement
To be left alone; to win this time
whichCharacterTougher_rocky_small.jpg
EDGE: ROCKY
He may not have faced death in the ring, but at least he didn't give comfort to the Taliban.
 
MENTOR
Cantankerous trainer Mickey Goldmill, a four-foot-tall, 20-pound slice of pure Jewish rage
Snide hard-ass Colonel Samuel Trautman, a man whose sole job in the military was creating lunatics
whichCharacterTougher_rambo_small.jpg 
EDGE: RAMBO
Ol' Mick was tough as nails, but Trautman could make even Brian Dennehy nervous. And we all know how nearly impossible that is.
 
TRAINING REGIME
Running; chasing chickens; pulling cars, punching meat; plowing Siberian glaciers; eating raw eggs
Lugging around hundreds of pounds of postwar trauma; eating things that would make a billy goat puke
whichCharacterTougher_rocky_small.jpg 
EDGE: ROCKY
Rambo seems like a total natural, but we actually witness Rocky having to work his ass off time and time again.
 
NEMESES
Apollo Creed; Clubber Lang; Ivan Drago; Tommy Gunn; Mason "The Line" Dixon
The Hope; Washington Police Force; the National Guard; all of Vietnam, Russia, and Burma
whichCharacterTougher_rambo_small.jpg 
EDGE: RAMBO
No matter how tough Rocky's opponents are, it's still man-to-man. Rambo routinely takes on entire armies and walks away.
 
SIGNATURE MOVE
Gets punched in the head for 10 straight rounds, then rallies for a last-minute knockout. Repeat
Sneaks up behind a guy and TEARS HIS THROAT OUT WITH HIS BARE HANDS
whichCharacterTougher_rambo_small.jpg 
EDGE: RAMBO
C'mon.
 
BATTLE CRY
"Yo, Adrian! I did it!"
"Fuck the world."
whichCharacterTougher_rambo_small.jpg 
EDGE: RAMBO
Quick and to the point.
 
WHO'S THE TOUGHEST?
This one wasn't even close. That walking, grunting ball of Reagan-era foreign policy draws last blood on Philly's favorite son by a score of 6-3. Yes, RAMBO, you win this time.