Why is it that using a character's first name as a movie's title instantly spells doom? Maybe because we can't be bothered to remember loved ones' names, much less these schlubs…
Michael ClaytonIs this a politically charged potboiler or a friend of your dad's? Who knows? And that's why about three people outside the Motion Picture Academy's membership saw this thing.
Mary ReillyWow. Way to sell a retelling of the Jekyll and Hyde story in a way that guarantees no one will see it. Why would we want to explore the mind of a scientist with a murderous alter ego when we can watch the whole thing from the POV of some sad-sack Irish broad?
Rob RoyThis reminds us—we'd rather be drinking than watching this.
Michael CollinsFact: The most frequent answers to the question "Have you seen
Michael Collins?" are: "Yeah, he helped a buddy of mine move" and "That douche owes me $50."
Erin BrockovichErin Brockovich sounds like the name of a woman who has just asked you to be a Facebook friend, and your first thought is,
Who is this, and please don't let me have slept with her.
Charlie BartlettIf this guy isn't intent on getting us top dollar for our workplace injury, he's got nothing we're interested in.
Billy BathgateWait…isn't this that sex maneuver where you squeeze a water bottle with your sphincter muscles?
Forrest GumpThis sounds like it should be the name of the town retarded guy who eats nothing but candy and rattles on to people at the bus stop about bizarre shit he pretends he's done with his life. Wait… Wha?
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