8 Games Worth Your Time (Assuming You Make $3.60 an Hour) They have the potential for greatness. But, then, so did U.S. Soccer.
Saints Row 2 Platform: Xbox 360, PS3 Release Date: Oct 14, 2008 Sort of Like: Diet Grand Theft Auto Why This Game: Now that everyone at Rockstar Games commutes to work in golden helicopters following GTA IV's release, rival developers are following suit. (In fact, SR2's trailers lampoon the activities in that "other game.") Fortunately for you, that means more murderous rampages, random vandalism, and other unwarranted acts against humanity, produced by porn star Tera Patrick. Drawbacks? It's hard to fit everything gamers want onto one disc, but the packaged graphics are far below par, even for a massive, sandbox-style game. Also, the gangbanging motif has been done to death, so expect to skip a lot of cutscenes.
Fable II Platform: Xbox 360 Release Date: Oct 21, 2008 Sort of Like: The New York Marathon Why This Game: The much-hyped Fable was as cookie-cutter a hack-and-slash game as they come. So back to the drawing board they went, soliciting feedback from users and rejiggering many of the original's faults. Fable II will feature tons of quests—rumored to take 100 hours to complete—and an arsenal of Ye Olde English-style weapons that'll leave the other colony inhabitants in the game running for the hills. Drawbacks? If you didn't notice from the 100 hours of rumored gameplay, you're going to need to clear a few Sundays to finish this one off.
Tom Clancy's EndWar Platform: Xbox 360 Release Date: Nov 4, 2008 Sort of Like:World in Conflict Why This Game: Real-time strategy? Done it. Battlefield setting? Whatever. Commanding your army via voice commands? OK, now you got us. Forward thinker Tom Clancy has stamped his seal of approval on the World War III-based strategy game, throwing players into combat across the U.S., Russia, and Europe. Better still, Theater of War mode lets you manage your own army in online multiplayer, rewarding you with upgrade points, reinforcements, and additional territories. Drawbacks? Design and gameplay borrow heavily from World in Conflict, which may prompt warseekers to consider other options this season. Beware, casual gamer: The gameplay often feels more like homework than gaming.
Mirror's Edge Platform: Xbox 360 Release Date: Nov 11, 2008 Sort of Like: Running from the cops Why This Game: When we saw the first footage of Mirror's Edge, we thought, "OK, great, lots of running. Now what?" A lot more, in fact. You control a Lucy Liu look-alike stuck in a world under harsh governmental rule, who goes on the run to find out who framed her sister for murder. The developers behind Battlefield: Bad Company created a stunning environment for all of that running and jumping, but the real fun is in maneuvering around the city with, say, a helicopter shooting at you. Drawbacks? While there is a hand-to-hand combat element similar to The Bourne Conspiracy, it unfortunately takes a backseat, as much of the game is built around the puzzle aspect of each stage. In fact, you'll be spending much of your time running away from enemies.
Shaun White Snowboarding Platform: Xbox 360 Release Date: Nov 16, 2008 Sort of Like: A grown up version of SSX Tricky Why This Game: The Flying Tomato lends his likeness and voice to this self-explanatory game, adding a marketable face other than Tony Hawk's to X sports. Ubisoft also added multiplayer features never before attempted in a snowboarding game, like the ability to zip down slopes with your friends and challenge them to one-up your death-defying spin tricks. Nintendbots can use the Wii Fit Balance Board for that living room snowboarding experience of their dreams. You can pick up a Target-sponsored special edition, featuring 25 percent more gameplay, for five dollars more. Drawbacks? Games like SSX and Amped were popular for their arcade sensibilities, enabling you to pull off unrealistic tricks. We're wary of a sport based on jumps pushed to the extreme being tamed to accomodate something as fleeting as reality.
Left 4 Dead Platform: Xbox 360, PC Release Date: Nov 17, 2008 Sort of Like:Resident Evil starring Will Smith Why This Game: To say that Valve Corp. has released some of recent memory's more innovative games (Team Fortress, Portal, Half-Life 2) is an understatement. They're back, this time in an ever-so-slightly new genre: zombie shooter. You play one of four "survivors" in a co-operative effort to push back hordes of diseased humans. The shit-your-pants-scared factor reaches 11 as superhuman deformed creatures spring from around every corner to make you their fleshy dinner. Drawbacks? The look and feel closely follows the film I Am Legend. If you weren't jiggy with the flick, the game may not ring your bell. Also, if you don't have three friends to play with in co-op mode, you'll have to rely on the AI, which from previous experience (looking at you, Army of Two and LEGO Batman) doesn't work out too well.
Chrono Trigger DS Platform: DS Release Date: Nov 25, 2008 Sort of Like: Chrono Trigger Why This Game: An RPG that consistently appears on all-time greatest games lists, Chrono Trigger gets yet a third remake, this time with the touchscreen treatment of the DS. You're not really getting anything new other than a new dual-screen menu presentation and the optional ability to control your character with your DS stylus, but if you missed previous chances at playing the game, this is one fantasy you'll want in on. Drawbacks? As already mentioned, you're not getting anything new here. No need to spend 40 dollars if you've already been to the Millenial Fair.
Prince of Persia Platform: Xbox 360, PS3, PC Release Date: Dec 2, 2008 Sort of Like: Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Why This Game: Ubisoft turns the page on the Prince of Persia series with a new lead and a new storyline, but essentially the same formula (i.e. running and jumping on stuff) with several important tweaks. As with seemingly every game we've listed, expect a more wide-open world to explore that won't force you to adhere to a linear storyline. We're especially pleased with the addition of super-sexy sidekick Elika. Drawbacks? With a couple of months to go until the game's release, details on additional game modes are as hairy as Jake Gyllenhaal's Prince of Persia.
Five That'll Fail You can't fool us with your futile attempts at entertainment!
Golden Axe: Beast Rider X360, PS3 Release Date: Oct 17, 2008 Cause of Death: Sega has already confirmed that co-op has been neutered. (Even the 20-year-old arcade game supported it!)
Legendary Xbox 360 Release Date: Oct 21, 2008 Cause of Death: The only "legendary" worth playing is the eponymous difficulty level in Halo 3. Plus, griffons scare the bajeezus out of us.
Star Wars The Clone Wars: Jedi Alliance Wii, DS Release Date: Nov 11, 2008 Cause of Death: There hasn't been anything good labeled Star Wars since they made a Jek Porkins action figure.
Sonic Unleashed Wii Release Date: Nov 18, 2008 Cause of Death: Sonic unleashed himself before and frightened an entire generation of children.
Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon Xbox 360 Release Date: Dec 1, 2008 Cause of Death: We thought we already destroyed all of the humans in the first game. Resourceful beings they are.