We tortured some final answers out of the Hostel director and Inglourious Basterds star.

So how do you want to go?
I have this fear that no matter how hard I try to avoid it, I’m going to be eaten by a great white shark. Even if I never go in the ocean again, I’ll be on an airplane, it’ll crash in the Pacific, and I’ll survive —only to be eaten by a great white.

Do you have any deathbed confessions?
I cried at the end of Freaky Friday. The Lindsay Lohan one. I was alone and got all choked up.

What song plays as you die?
Definitely the tune “Wonderboy” by Tenacious D. It’s epic, and I’ll picture myself riding a unicorn with a hot naked lady as I do battle with a great white shark, swinging a mace.

Was there anyone on Earth you wanted to punch in the face?
Let’s just say if I saw my third-grade Hebrew school teacher, Mr. Spraragan, I might bend my “don’t punch people in the face” rule. Most of my horror movie ideas came from that class.

Is there anything Quentin Tarantino shared with you on the set of Inglourious Basterds that you’re taking to the grave?
Oh, yes. And vice versa. Which is why I will 
never reveal that he’s the one who recommended the Freaky Friday remake to me.

What is your proudest accomplishment?
I am proud to be part of a wave of directors who pushed the boundaries of on-screen gore. Plus, I helped bring nudity back into horror films.

Will you be going to heaven or hell, and why?Neither. I’m Jewish—we don’t believe in that. I’ll be reincarnated, hopefully as Scott Baio 2.0.


What is your biggest regret?
I turned down a threesome at Cannes.

Got any last words?
Quick, get the camera! This is going to be an amazing DVD extraaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!

Inglourious Basterds storms into theaters August 21st.