Boogeyman

It's hard to say what's more terrifying: the legend of the boogeyman or the dialogue in Boogeyman. The story follows Tim (7th Heaven's Barry Watson), magazine editor and witness as a child to his father's abduction by the boogeyman. Problem is, everyone else thinks his dad simply fled his family, so Tim is forced to battle inner demons, and his menacing closet, alone. After 15 minutes of walking slowly down hallways, rehashing childhood memories, and hanging up dress shirts, Tim decides to face his fears and spend one final night in his childhood home. Once there, Tim mostly walks around slowly with a confused look on his face while we sit idly with a confused look on ours. Ninety percent of the flick…moves…like…this, with the other 10 percent consisting of random jump cuts that utilize screeching sound effects to awaken anyone who might've dozed off during spurts of plot exposition. None of the scares amount to a singular story line, and we don't even get to see the monster until the flick's lackluster finale. Much like Rosie O'Donnell, danger should have never come out of the closet.