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Cold Creek Manor

Release Date: 
09/19/2003
MPAA Rating: 
MPAA: R
Star Rating: 
★½
Cooper Tilson (Dennis Quaid) and his wife, Leah (Sharon Stone)—see, there is life after 40!—have had enough of the hustle ’n’ bustle of city life, so they pack up their belongings and their kids and head out to the country. Only, the run-down house they move into is creepy (or so the commercials inform us). Getting us to this point, harbinger of creep Stephen “The Dorfman” Dorff plays the former resident of the house, who emerges literally from nowhere and begins “helping” to “restore” it. Think This Old House, only less frightening. Over the film’s two hours, there are about 10 minutes of ass-clenching tension. The rest is plodding development, after a mysterious beginning gives way to a C-grade thriller that you’ll likely see looped into TNT’s weekend programming before the credits roll. Quaid and Stone lend gasps of respectability to what otherwise would have been a rejected Scooby-Doo script, but mostly we spent our time trying to figure out whether we’d ever be scared of Stephen Dorff.