Beowulf (Unrated Director's Cut)

Reviewed by:
Gene Newman

Five minutes into Beowulf, we almost turned it off. It was just like the haunting Polar Express, an extended video game cut-scene complete with those creepy dead-eyes only animated characters of this nature can provide. We're happy we stuck it out because it turned into an intense and bloody God of War-like retelling of the epic literary classic about a badass who kills monsters. We're still not crazy about Ye Olde English dialogue, but mix it with stomach-churning gore and sexy fantasy babes—Angelina Jolie's rendering could be one of the most perfect humans ever manufactured—and you've got a breakthrough technology that impressed the hell out of us. The extras are just as good, which details the motion capture performances and is worth seeing just to witness Crispen Glover's manic performance as the monster Grendel. Plus, if they can take an out of shape dude like Sexy Beast/The Departed's Ray Winstone and turn him into a chiseled hero, then there's hope for us all. They just need to work on the eyes 'cause those shits give us nightmares.

Full Disclosure: We watched this on HD DVD, which was shockingly clear and had a bunch of cool interactive features. However, since they pulled the plug on this format there's no use pushing you in that direction. Maybe if they move it over to Blu-ray it'll be worth your time.

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