Evan Almighty

For the sake of all that is holy, let's pretend this movie never happened. Evan Almighty is completely forced, wildly unfunny, and often frustrating, even more so than the first one, which promised a Jim Carrey comedy but was actually a preachy crapfest. Steve Carell, who was the only watchable part of the first film aside from Catherine Bell's body, becomes a congressman and is tasked to build an ark. It's part kid movie, provided the kids watching are really stupid, and part "one to grow on." A half-hour in we wanted to turn it off but only stayed with it to see the flood, which is the reason the budget hit $175 million. Just like the load of extras on this DVD—they go on for three different screen pages and get progressively lamer—the effects aren't that great. If they really wanted to make a difference they should have just written Carell and Morgan Freeman checks for $10 mil each and had them give a $155 mil check to charity to raise flood awareness. Or they could have given us $1 mil to write a good review about one of the worst movies we've ever seen starring one of the funniest guys in the world right now. That's the only way we'd be able to live with ourselves. (Who are we kidding? We'd take a Burger King gift card to do that.)