Honey

Move over, power of love. Step aside, power of cheese. If Honey is any indication, the power of dance represents the last hope for humanity. Take Honey Daniels (Jessica Alba), a dreamer looking to make good through the magic of hip-hop choreography! She uses the neighborhood center to teach munchkin criminals how to dance to Ludacris by day, then works nights at a club waiting for her chance to become—remember, kids, aim high—a backup dancer on MTV. Soon, she meets a big-time producer, but (spoiler alert!) he wants to sleep with her. Now it’s Honey time! We’ll be first to admit that Alba’s bare midriff is sufficient premise for a movie, even if Master P’s kid keeps dancing around it. But before we could decipher her ham-fisted use of ghetto slang like “peoples” and “wil’ out,” we were lobotomized by enough inspirational pap to drive us back to the “electric slide.”