Hostage

Just because he's too old to grow hair doesn't make Bruce Willis too old to blaze through a building of ruthless villains packing more clips than a Hot 97 DJ. Willis plays Jeff Talley, an L.A. hostage negotiator who botches a mission and moves to Ventura County for a Hilton-free simple life of coffee and donuts. But a year later, a trio of greasy teens ambushes a rich crook's suburban mansion, sucking Talley right back into the negotiation game—only this time, Talley's family gets sucked in, too, and our hero has to manage more than just the goons inside. (Including a name that sounds eerily like a South Park side character.) The flick opens amid Talley's last standoff in L.A., and from there pounds the senses with rivers of spilled blood, mountains of cascading rubble, and landfills of ignored plot holes. Bathroom breaks are not optional as Willis returns to his roots—no, not Moonlighting, jerk—without missing a step, proving he's still as much action hero as his (three-decades-) younger rivals.